I don't want a man like you
by AthenaKB
Summary: It has been two months since Kurt wakes up in the same bed at least twice a week, a bed that doesn't belong to him, but he has always felt like it is, like it smells of something you would never want to let go.
1. Chapter 1

**Ship:** Kurt/Sebastian, min. Blaine/Kurt.

**Rating:** NC-17.

**Summary:** It has been two months since Kurt wakes up in the same bed at least twice a week, a bed that doesn't belong to him, but he has always felt like it is, like it smells of something you would never want to let go.

**Author's Note: **Hi everyone! I'm happy to publish my first story in English here (thanks to _EdyFerrone_ for translation). This story was inspired by the Kurtbastian week 2012 that brought Kurtbastian in my life. I hope you like my story that is complete in Italian, it only needs to be translate.

I don't even know what to say, so I'll leave you to the chapter. Have fun!

/

**Chapter 1**

It has been two months since Kurt wakes up in the same bed at least twice a week, a bed that doesn't belong to him, but he has always felt like it is, like it smells of something you would never want to let go. It's something that tastes terribly like sex and _him_.

He turns slowly under the sheets, a gorgeous still naked man beside him.

Tonight they've made an exception to their rules because Kurt never sleeps here, he always goes back home not to make his dad worry and not to arouse suspicion also. Yet tonight he hasn't been able of leaving to go home, he has made up an excuse and stayed.

He begins to stroke gently at the boy's perfect back still wondering how it's possible that he has chosen him.

Kurt doesn't want to wake him, but he can't help but touch him when they're alone and they can let go.

They always have to pretend, but never when they're between these four walls. This awkward something, born by chance, has proved to be their salvation and their condemnation at the same time, but Kurt would give up on everything for him, though probably the other boy would never do the same.

It has been about ten minutes when Sebastian also decides to wake up. Kurt has thought he's been sleeping, but actually he has pretended all the time just to enjoy his attentions.

"Good morning …" Kurt whispers in his ear, kissing him gently on his neck.

"Why don't you sleep here all the time?" Sebastian asks, his voice still thick with sleep, turning to the boy at his side.

"I'd have never thought you'd love sharing your bed with someone - Kurt answers while still stroking his skin gently - at least not to sleep."

"I love waking up with you purring at me, no doubt about it."

Kurt smiles, he can't help it.

Sebastian hardly loses it for moments of sweetness like this. Maybe the night they've spent together has changed something inside him, or maybe it's just a way to appease Kurt, as usual; in any case Kurt decides to take advantage of it, he can't really miss this chance.

They still cuddle for a while without caring about anything except themselves, their emotions, their needs.

They were exchanging some light kisses when Kurt's phone throbs, twice, and he breaks away from the Warbler to see who's searching for him: the first text is from his father.

Since he has confessed to his father about the first time with Blaine, Burt had become a bit more permissive, knowing there wouldn't have been no need to keep Kurt locked at home, since it had already happened.

So Kurt often uses his boyfriend as an excuse to go to Sebastian's place. _Dad, I'm going to Blaine's_ is the typical sentence Kurt leaves his house with in the evening, after dinner, to get to his lover's.

Kurt hates it that he has to lie to his father, to Blaine and mostly that he uses him as a lame excuse. The problem is that none of his friends would have supported his secret affair with Sebastian and then no one would ever agree to cover it. In addition, the girls often call at his house, maybe just because they need Finn or something, and if they do, it would be a disaster.

Blaine instead never calls because, even though he's now having a good time at McKinley, he has failed to establish a real friendship with someone and he still goes out with the Warblers.

Kurt is terrified to check who the second text is from, but he knows perfectly who the sender is before he reads it.

Seeing his uncertainty, Sebastian decides to delay a little the moment when he would return to be _the perfect asshole_ and he gently strokes Kurt's back to give him courage.

He knows now how difficult it is for him to find texts from his boyfriend who's completely unaware of what Kurt is doing. Kurt isn't a bad person, he's not like Sebastian. He really feels bad for Blaine and each time his soul aches when he wonders how it is possible that he himself is doing so much to hurt a person _he loves_.

Sebastian doesn't understand why he hasn't broken up with Blaine yet, it's a discussion that often pops up between them, but Kurt stills argue that this would be the last time; that his boyfriend is his only certainty and Sebastian means nothing.

Obviously he's going to be there again the following day, ten o'clock in the evening, in front of the door of Sebastian's house, and they'll end up having sex for hours like every single time.

_Good morning baby. If you want to, see you in Lima Bean in about an hour, I wanted to talk to you. _

Blaine wants to talk to him. But he seems quiet, he has called him _baby_. It's not going to be anything serious, he's sure about it.

_Good morning to you too. All right we'll catch up to the Lima Bean._

He reads the text; there's something that sounds out of tune. It's cold, set up, Blaine definitely would have asked if there's something wrong because Kurt's texts are hardly so lacking of affection.

"Kurt, do it," he hears Sebastian's voice of inciting him, he knows what he means, but he can't take it. He can't be so shameless.

"Bastian, I can't." He turns to the boy, and sees him lifting an eyebrow wearing the face of someone who is wondering if you're kidding. "Okay." Kurt says, sighing. He picks up the phone and adds, "I love you.", It seems the worst thing in the world right now.

Then, without he even realizes it, Kurt's face is becoming slightly sad. He doesn't want to leave Sebastian, doesn't want to leave the house, because out of that door there's the world, there're real problems.

"I'm heading to Scandals tonight." Sebastian says, surprising Kurt.

"Since when have you started needing a permission for that?" Kurt turns to him a little nervously.

He hates it that Sebastian goes there, he hates knowing that he is going to take to the bathroom a nice guy he's met on the dance floor, he hates finding signs of kisses and bites on his body the next day, signs that aren't his own. Kurt knows, however, that this irritated tone whenever Sebastian mentions it is all he can do, because they're not together, and even if they were a couple, it wouldn't change anything, that's just how Sebastian is.

"I'm not asking for permission. It was a simple statement." Sebastian answers then, now that he's find out Kurt's jealousy. If he had been a different person, he'd probably avoid telling him whenever he goes to Scandals, but he loves seeing him angry, possessive, and jealous.

Well, it's still his precious gay face after all, so it's spontaneous for Sebastian to be a bitch to him.

"Okay." Kurt snaps coldly. Without even looking at Sebastian, he gets out of bed and adds "I'm gonna take a shower." He would have wanted to add also_ to pull off your smell from my skin_, but he takes it back because he knows that could have give Sebastian to chance to pull out a series of unnecessary jokes from the boy still lying in bed.

"You have no idea how much I love your body ... you're so perfect." Hearing these words, Kurt turns to Sebastian who's watching him, licking his lips, hungrily.

Thanks to Sebastian, Kurt has let go. He's not ashamed to walk around the room naked; he has taken more awareness about how physically attractive he is.

Unfortunately, even Blaine has noticed this change in him and he has been surprised, but fortunately he's never suspected anything.

Sebastian has made him feel like a true man for the first time, he's been able to drop the mask of the good and a little clumsy kid. Maybe it's the reason why after the first time he has succumbed to Sebastian's lure, he hasn't been able to give up on it anymore.

As Sebastian never ceases to remind him, he has made him a "little pervert". Kurt just thinks he has managed to get unstuck in front of a man who demonstrates him how exciting he is, worshiping his body, looking at him like he's a Greek god statue.

Kurt doesn't answer Sebastian's words, but he just to shakes his head and blushes slightly as usual, looking down and giggling. This embarrassment from these words is probably the only thing that has left from the old Kurt 'baby penguin' Hummel.

He quickly takes a shower, hoping that the smell doesn't stay on him.

Returning to the room, now dressed, he finds Sebastian still lying in his bed. He is beautiful; it's the only thing that Kurt can think of. His smooth skin, his thin but tremendously carved body that gives him that masculine look; these green eyes which complement the beauty of a look that always seems to be saying "I'm the best."

Kurt doesn't want to get caught while staring at him so he turns to the mirror and pretends to fix his hair, doesn't want to give this guy the satisfaction of seeing him adoringly. Kurt doesn't realize when Sebastian comes up from behind and hugs him leaning on his back. Kurt sighs softly at the contact, and brings his head back, so that Sebastian can kiss him without making him turn.

After these small effusions, they stay there staring at their image in the mirror for a few seconds: Kurt is now fully pressed with his back on the other boy's chest and Sebastian rests his chin on Kurt's shoulder and hugs him from behind.

"Kurt …"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me again … why?"

Kurt opens his eyes to enjoy better his lover's body against his own. He takes advantage of the mirror to be able to look into his eyes and say to him:

"Because Blaine is my only certainty and I can't lose him, while you're unreliable, you don't love me and you never will. I need a man who is mine only, and you wouldn't be mine."

Sebastian's face doesn't change at all. By now he is used to hearing this speech. He has heard it whenever he's asked Kurt to leave his boyfriend, maybe selfishly because he knows that having Kurt all to himself wouldn't change his lifestyle anyway. However, he has decided not to say anything to Blaine about their meetings although he still wonders why.

"I have to go or I'll be late. We'll catch up." Kurt says, stopping the flow of thoughts going throw their minds both. He pulls away from Sebastian and plants a soft kiss on his cheek before heading out the door.

/

The trip is short-lived because the Lima Bean is a little more than ten minutes away from the house that Sebastian has bought when he has transferred to Dalton. He doesn't want to live in the dorms of the school.

As Kurt enters, he immediately sees his boyfriend greeting him with his hand; he has also ordered his latte already.

"Hi ..." Blaine greets him with a smile. Kurt smiles back and kisses him on the cheek, putting the mask of the perfect boyfriend on again now as he is forced to do so since he has started his secret sex dates with Sebastian.

"So … what did you want to tell me that couldn't wait?"

"Kurt, I don't know what to start with ..."

"Baby, try and start from the beginning ..." Kurt replies ironically but sweetly, taking his hand to let him know that whatever he is going to tell him, Kurt is there for him. These are moments he feels so strongly tied to Blaine that he just knows he can't leave him, even though he also knows that sooner or later he will have to reveal his double life to his boyfriend. He's been aware of it since the beginning.

"I've made a choice, but just …. Don't get mad at me …"

"Blaine, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Blaine is terrified to say this mysterious thing to Kurt; he can see it in his eyes.

He takes a long sip from his cappuccino with the hand that is not trapped between Kurt's fingers and then replies in one breath.

"I'm going back to Dalton."


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! I'll leave you quickly to the chapter 'cause I don't know what to say about it. (The truth is that usually I don't know what to write in the note XD). So, I hope that you like this second chapter and that you'll let me know something about it!

Ps: Thanks so so much EdyFerrone for the translation and betaing. I love u!

/

**Chapter 2 A man for whom I'm the one**

"What does it that you're going back to Dalton?"

Of course Blaine doesn't know how to drop a bomb in a less traumatic way.

"Kurt, you know that I've moved to Mckinley only because I love you. I wouldn't have left Dalton otherwise."

Here again, the sense of guilt clenching in Kurt's stomach: Blaine had done so much for him, he had left his friends to be with him, and what has Kurt given him in return? His nights with Sebastian?

Without thinking, he nods to him so that Blaine can continue his speech; he isn't disappointed, he's just seriously curious to know what is going through Blaine's head.

"I miss the guys. I've been used at having them around all day for more than a year. I can't stand seeing them only on the weekends when Dalton gives them the chance to."

Kurt doesn't know what to say.

He knew this was going to happen sooner or later because Blaine loves the Warblers and the rest of the guys. He's possibly even more egocentric than Kurt and he's given up his role as the lead of the acapella group; it's been a quite relevant effort. He's gone from being a sort of rock star, loved and respected by everybody along the hallways of Dalton Academy, to a rejection of society, in a high school in which his only luck is that hasn't been slushie in the face yet, at least not by the Titans.

"Blaine, it's ok. You can go back to Dalton if you want. I know it costs you a lot to stay away from the boys. I had to leave my friends too last year and I know how hard it can be. And also – he adds without even thinking - you shouldn't need my permission to decide what you have to do with your life."

What the hell is he saying? Blaine's his boyfriend; it's obvious that he should be affected by his life, his choices. He really hopes that Blaine hasn't noticed this addition too much. Obviously, however, Blaine is always the same kind of boy, attentive to details, especially if it's about Kurt.

"Baby, you're kidding, right? Of course I need your support at least, especially for a decision that could change our relationship, the time we spend together."

"You're right - Kurt replies smiling - but I just want you to be happy, Blaine. I can give up on seeing you everyday if this will give you the opportunity to be better-off."

With this sentence Kurt knows he has resolved all doubts about his impending madness that had gripped Blaine in the seconds that preceded that answer, but it's true now: he does no longer feel as if his boyfriend needs his permission for something, it's like as if they're living two parallel lives, so Blaine can't obviously understand the reason for some words or discussions. It always seems to him as if Kurt doesn't pay too much attention to it.

"Have you told the others already?" Kurt asks, starting to think about how the New Directions would react at the news.

"Not yet, I have to find a way to tell them without getting killed."

"C'mon Blaine, why would they kill you?" Kurt says, giggling.

Blaine takes a deep breath. How could Kurt not get it?

"Kurt, if I'm going, New Direction will need a new member at least. You'll have to find someone to replace me, and your school is not full of people who can't wait to join the glee club."

In fact, Kurt hasn't thought about it and that's really a big problem. Without Blaine they'd be just the right number for Nationals and not having any eventual replacement could be a problem in a group like them in which the threat of leaving the club is around the corner every day.

"Look, we'll take care of that. You've already done so much for everyone. Think about yourself now."

"I love you."

Okay, this is too much: Kurt can't answer to his boyfriend, he loves him, _he does_, but doesn't love him_ that way maybe_ or at least not as he did before, and definitely not enough; he wouldn't have done what he's still doing if it had been otherwise. So, to avoid arousing suspicion or having to give explanations, he quickly moves toward Blaine, looks around, hoping no one is staring at them, and then places a quick kiss on his boyfriend's lips.

Blaine's mouth, unfortunately for Kurt, has always been a drug for him and, despite all, it still has a good hold on him.

After having spent a few hours wandering around the park near the Lima Bean they decide to part ways. In fact, Kurt hasn't stopped to look at the time, not even for a second: his dad's questions for his delays are the last thing he needs right now.

Beginning to walk down the street, alone, Kurt starts thinking about Blaine, about Sebastian, about his friends if they'd ever known about his double life, his family, and then he realizes he has to make a decision.

He can't be with Blaine any longer, he's destroying him.

He knows that he can't give up on Sebastian, his hands, his smell.

The problem is that Sebastian isn't no one's man, let alone his.

If he breaks up with Blaine, he can freely meet the lover whenever he wants to, but he's not going to have a person who loves him this way, because Sebastian Smythe doesn't love, doesn't plan on anything and he isn't tied to anyone; but there's something about him that occasionally explodes, as this morning (cuddles and kisses) and makes Kurt believe that he could be able to create something that is more than just a regular hooking up relationship. This thought, however, is probably going to be shattered the next day when Kurt might see the signs of a night spent with another guy on his body and Sebastian would never give up on this for anyone.

It's his life and he lives it the more he can.

Kurt He climbs in the bathroom of his room, then decides to get ready for a hot bath that maybe would help him relaxing a little.

Once in the room, and strips in front of the mirror until he's fully naked, and he realizes a small purple sign on his hip: he really needs to tell Sebastian to keep it down, because it's way too evident; and yet he doesn't really dislike it and if it weren't for Blaine, he would walk around shirtless just to show the world the signs that this wonderful man leaves on his body, signs of their passion, memories of Sebastian worshipping his body, and when there's nothing but his lips and of his teeth.

When he's finally sunk in the tank, hot water surrounding him, he feels like a new man; in the meantime, he had sent a text to Rachel and told her to call an extraordinary reunion for tomorrow in the afternoon because he and Blaine are going to talk to everyone.

As he waits for his friend to answer him, maybe trying to get some news and details as usual, he gets another text on his iphone: the sender is _**Timon**_.

_Hey, sunshine, have you managed to fool Blaine around today?_

Kurt feels himself sinking: Sebastian always has this incredible power to make him feel like shit.

He realizes that he doesn't feel like texting, even if he doesn't know why, so he starts the call with the intention of sending him to hell.

"Fuck you." Kurt says as soon as the Warbler answers the call without giving him anytime to say anything.

"How delicate, my little flower."

"Bas just stop. 'm not in the mood."

"Really? Can I ask why? "

"No, you can't, and in any case you wouldn't even care, so."

"Kurt - Kurt hears him sigh through the phone - I don't like to waste my time so you know if I ask you something, it's because I'm interested."

"Blaine is going back to Dalton."

"And ...?"

"And … tomorrow we're going to tell everyone and I'm trying to figure out how to drop the bomb in a delicate way, just not as he's told _me_ today."

"I understand. Well I think I would have enjoyed this a while ago, but since we've lost Regional, I haven't got any interests in destroying you now."

"I guess."

Suddenly Sebastian pauses, it seems like he's heard something interesting; Kurt takes the chance to shift a little in the tub and get more comfortable.

"Is this the sound of water?"

"Yes ... I'm in the bathtub I needed a bath."

"Hmmm ... I wish you were here, naked and wet."

Kurt's eyes widen immediately.

Given the amount of sex they have doing during the week, neither of them has ever felt the need for phone sex, but it seems just what Sebastian is trying to start right now.

"Sebastian ..." Kurt tries to get his attention: he doesn't like this kind of games; he prefers real contact, when there's no need to say dirty forced stuff on the phone to get hot and feel like the other person is nearby.

"I so wanna touch you right now, Kurt ..."

At these words, however, Kurt feels blood flow from his brain to another very specific part of his body; he just hates how easy it is for Sebastian to turn him on.

"Touch me." Kurt says without thinking, giving up to Sebastian's desires that are slowly becoming his too.

"Babe, think about my mouth, where do you want it?"

"On my cock ... you're here and you're sucking me off."

"Touch me." Sebastian says it this time while the sudden grip on his cock becomes stronger and tighter, just as Kurt's.

"I want you Bastian. Fuck me, _please_."

"Think about my fingers fucking you, getting you ready for my cock."

Kurt groans slightly. The guy on the other end of the phone can clearly hear the noise from his hand moving underwater.

"Please, I want to feel you fucking hard into me. Just say you want me …"

"God yes ... you have no idea how much I want you … Kurt, imagine me inside you. I'm thrusting hard and fast, pounding that gorgeous little ass of yours ... I know you like it."

"Yes! Please, fuck me harder." Now they're both close, they know it.

"Come for me, Kurt."

At these words Kurt doesn't longer as he's shouting Sebastian's name; that's enough to make Sebastian come too, Kurt's name fading into his panting.

"Thank you, babe." Sebastian says once that he's managed to catch his breath.

"Thanks to you." Kurt says, smiling.

"Kurt, I must leave you, gotta go out."

_Oh right, his night at the Scandals_, Kurt thinks. He doesn't exactly know why, but he finds himself doing something he'd never want to do, to ask for something that he'd never want to ask.

"Would it bother you if I came with you?"

"Kurt, babe, do I need to remind you that you just came with me?" Kurt looks up at the ceiling. As usual, the nasty Sebastian bitch takes over everything.

"Bas, quit the stupid jokes, it's totally bad taste irony. I've asked you a serious question."

"It's a free gay bar, babe."

"Yeah, I know. But I meant … going _with you_."

"Kurt ..."

"Yeah, okay, I understand." Kurt says, sighing. He knows what Sebastian means and he should have expected it. In the end, Sebastian is always Sebastian, Kurt can't expect anything more than their usual meetings for them.

"Babe, will I see you tomorrow? Want to stay for the night?"

The veil of hope that he hears in Sebastian's voice stops Kurt from telling him to go to hell, and the bipolarity of the boy is still an unresolved mystery.

"I'll see ... I'll text you, eventually. Have a good evening."

"You too."

With these words, he hangs off the phone.

Kurt comes out of the tug and gets dressed quickly; he puts on his pajamas and sits on his bed with his legs crossed and his face buried into his hands.

After what has happened in the bathroom he finds himself in his room, alone, once again. Suddenly he thinks that this would be his life if he breaks up with Blaine to devote himself completely to his lover.

He would be alone at night waiting for his return, maybe having to listen to the whole today-'s-hook-up-story without saying or doing anything because Sebastian had made it clear that he is like this and that what Kurt can see is already the full extent of their relationships, nothing more than that.

Thinking, Kurt realizes that it's not the life he wants: he wants someone who really loves him that is there for him when he needs someone for whom he's the only one.

"I gotta talk to Sebastian," he says to himself and then decides to go to sleep.

Tomorrow is definitely going to be a long day.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Hi everyone!

After a month I'm back with a new chapter and I hope you'll like it! This part of story is a sort of a flashback to explore Kurt and Sebastian's past, but you'll understand that as you read! As usual I don't know what to say about the chapter, so read it and if you want tell me what you think about that, do it please! So much love :)

Ps: Thanks so much to EdyFerrone for the translation.

**Beta**: Amanda908565.

/

**Chapter 3 I don't want you**

Those signs, those damn signs, again. Kurt can't keep himself and his eyes begin to water uncontrollably ... He can't do this anymore.

He's been at Sebastian's the next morning, he wants to talk and Sebastian is going to listen.

And then every certainty has broken when the boy has opened his door shirtless, showing off some of those dark marks that Kurt hates so much, a sign that Sebastian isn't and is never going to belong to him. Tears have run on his face, but Sebastian hasn't noticed anything obviously.

**Three months ago ...**

_Kurt is in the hospital. He has just accompanied his boyfriend after he's got slushied in the face to protect him from the crappy meerkat. He shouldn't have, especially not to defend his clothes. Maybe, after the fight they during the last days because of Sebastian, Blaine has as if he had to do something to prove to Kurt that he is the one that matters in his life._

_He's in the waiting room. Blaine is still in the emergency room for analysis, and he's really hoping it isn't anything too serious._

_"How is she?" Kurt suddenly hears a voice behind him breaking the silence. A voice he knows too well._

_"What the hell are you doing here, you asshole?"_

_"Shut up, gay face, we're in a fucking hospital."_

_"It's your fault!" Kurt doesn't lower his voice because he is angry and also because no one gives him orders, especially Sebastian._

_"Listen, I overreacted, okay ... but, just … get a grip."_

_"My boyfriend is stuck in the emergency room, I don't know what's up with his eyes. I had to carry him because he couldn't do anything but scream in pain and you're telling me that I have to keep it down!"_

_Kurt begins to cry without even realizing. It's anger, pain, the hatred he feels for the bitch who has played with his man and then hurt, and to even run away. He's no longer able to control himself and begins to accompany his words broken by tears with his fists closed on the chest of the Warbler. "You're ... a ... bastard ... __**I hate you**__ …"_

_Sebastian had seen him irritated, angry and nervous, before and all of this was because of him lately; he had seen him happy when he was with Blaine, but he had never seen him like this. Kurt looks torn._

_He has broken Kurt Hummel, the unbearable prima donna who's the only one who stands up to him. He must be proud of himself. But it's really strange to see him like this._

_"Kurt ..." Sebastian calls him to make him stop, to get his attention. The tone of voice that he's using today is strange, it has no signs of scorn, derision, or hatred; it's kind, it is for the first time. _

_Sebastian takes Kurt's wrists and holds them tight, attached to his own chest, to prevent him from beating him and then tells him (approaching much more than Kurt would never have agreed if it wasn't totally shocked), "I just wanted to stain your clothes, make you angry, I always do that. I didn't want to hurt Blaine ... and not even you. I swear. So now try to think for a second and stop acting like a little girl. You're a grown up man. Prove it. Wipe your tears and go to ask for Blaine ... staying here is unnecessary and unnerving."_

_Kurt nods weakly wiping his tears, almost at the point of unconsciousness._

_"Ok let's go ..."_

_"Great, gay face." Sebastian replies, earning a fist on his shoulder. Kurt can fucking hurt if he wants to._

_When they find the doctor, he explains Blaine's conditions. He says he has tried with little success to contact his parents so Blaine is going to stay there until someone will come to pick him up; in the meantime they could keep him company, but they don't have to tire him._

_"I'm going. Blaine is probably angry at me, I don't want to make him more upset than he already is."_

_"You really don't know Blaine. I think he's the least angry human being in the world, especially when it comes to you."_

_They both giggle at that last sentence._

_Sebastian finally decides to go and Kurt has a strange feeling waving on, that maybe Sebastian isn't that much of a bitch._

_**The following week ...**_

_Sebastian is walking on the side of the road, looking angry. Suddenly he hears a horn sound behind him._

_Is it possible that with all the people who could go by car, he has to look into that gay face? Fate can be weird at times._

_"Hey how much?" Kurt yells out the window laughing._

_"A blowjob? 50$, 300 if you need a good fuck ..."_

_"You're expensive ... How come you're not driving your car?"_

_"I've destroyed and wrecked it. Anyway, mind your own business, I don't need your help."_

_Kurt looks up at the sky. How does Sebastian manage to always be so hateful?_

_"Listen, I'll do you a favor just because today I'm not in the mood to argue, so stop walking." Sebastian stops and so does Kurt's car, next to him._

_"We can hook your car to mine and drive it to my dad's shop. At least you won't walk to Dalton since it's,_ _like, ten kilometers from here."_

_Sebastian looks like he's thinking about it. He can get help from the little bitch and avoid a dozen of kilometers by foot, or he can act like a jerk, but that would mean walking home and getting there all destroyed with the car still the parking lot where he's left it._

_"Ok." He says, and Kurt smiles._

_"Alright then jumps in." Sebastian does with no second thought. It's better to avoid complaining; otherwise the bitch is going to throw him out of the window, he is sure about it._

_"Anyway, nice car Hummel."_

_"Is this a joke or a compliment?"_

_"A compliment ... you're so distrustful."_

_"Thanks then," Kurt says finally._

_"That's the one ..." Sebastian says, leaning out the window to point at his._

_"It's bigger than mine!" Kurt says astonished. In fact, his car is already quite big, but his father has preferred to buy him that because it was safer._

_Kurt stops the car in front of Sebastian's._

_"There are many things that I've got bigger than you, Hummel, don't be surprised." Sebastian says as he gets out of the car._

_"Like your ego?"_

_He has done it again. Every time Sebastian thinks he has closed any discussion with a sharp comment that could silence him, Kurt always manages to snap back. Kurt doesn't let him win easily and weirdly Sebastian likes it._

_However, he can't help but chuckle and he doesn't answer Kurt, because if he does, he knows they're gonna go on for hours and there's something more urgent to do, like taking his car away._

_After half a hour they manage to get to the Hummel-Hudsons'._

_Burt looks at Sebastian with like he wants to pull out a gun and shoot him on sight. It's probably because he cares a lot about Blaine and the fact that he's still recovering because of that boy doesn't help._

_Kurt tries to ignore his dad's hatred and explains the situation then deciding to put the car in the workshop and avoid further contact with the boy._

_Kurt goes to help his father. Meanwhile, Sebastian finds himself admiring the house, obviously smaller than his, but that seems to heat everything even from the outside; the lawn seems to tell abut the afternoons Burt and his stepson spend placing the plants and cutting the grass while Kurt and his stepmother prepare snacks and lemonade for everybody._

_Suddenly Kurt's voice interrupts his thoughts._

_"Dad said you can pick it up next week."_

_"Ok. Thank you. "_

_Kurt winces comically at these words, so surprised that at first Sebastian doesn't understand what it is about; then he adds, "Sebastian Smythe thanking me ... I'll have to remember this day." He says, then starts laughing._

_"Fuck you, gay face."_

_"You're always so kind. However are you going to drive back home now?"_

_Sebastian isn't the kind of guy who asks for help, but he's almost twenty miles from home and by now the buses will pass every two hours, and then, Sebastian Smythe doesn't really feel like taking a bus. Ew, awful._

_"Could you ..." He tries to say pointing to Kurt's car._

_"Okay, but let's move. I have to be home for dinner."_

_The car ride is quiet, too much maybe. It seems that Kurt is embarrassed by the situation, and he actually is. The two of them being kind to each other it's humanly inconceivable. They hate each other._

_**One week later**_

_Blaine can see again. Kurt is happy although he feels a little disappointed because once again he hadn't spent Valentine's Day like he wanted. He had expected something, even stupid like a bouquet of flowers at school, nothing complicated. Blaine just didn't think it was important. Well, they have been together for a year after all, so Kurt, himself, knows that the most of these things are just silly._

_The night before the last rehearsal for Regionals Kurt is out jogging. He wants to get free of the anger. He had met the meerkat again at Lima Bean and the jerk had personally apologized to Blaine and then had begun to mock Kurt with his usual catchphrases. Seriously, he doesn't have a lot of imagination, he always ends up joking about the same things._

_He runs because he is angry, nervous, and anything he had before Blaine, now, however, he's part of the problem, so Kurt doesn't feel like creating unnecessary discussions._

_If fate wants to punish you, it does it fast and all of a sudden, so he finds himself in front of the last person he wants to see._

"_Hey princess. Trying to work on your hips?"_

_Kurt just jogs and doesn't answer. When he thinks he's left Sebastian behind him and he's already feeling proud about himself because he hasn't snapped back, he feels him tugging at his arm, making him spin until they're face to face._

"_What do you want from me?" _

"_Woah, you're angry. Are you on your period?" _

"_I'm not. Are you?"_

_Snap. Once again. Who does Sebastian think he's dealing with?_

"_Get lost, Sebastian. I've got a run to complete." _

_Kurt goes back to running, leaving Sebastian standing with his mouth wide open, frustrated and curious to know where does this annoying little boy come from._

_The next day …_

_Sebastian is walking to the Warblers' choir room when he hears a voice, a soft humming coming from there. Someone is singing._

_He stops on the threshold not to interrupt this chant until he sees Kurt standing up from a chair. He can only see his back from here, but still, he recognizes him immediately._

_It's Kurt singing._

_He has already heard him before, but it's been nothing like that. He's wearing the Dalton blazer. Probably, Blaine's – who's sitting besides Jeff - and Kurt have sneaked in wearing the uniform to not get noticed._

_Kurt is singing, slowly, a song Sebastian knows. When the refrain starts, he manages to recognize Defying Gravity from Wicked._

_Kurt moves slowly between the sofas and the charmed faces of their friends._

_It's probably the blazer which makes him look good, or at least that's what Sebastian wants to think, because Kurt looks handsome right now. He has underestimated him before. When he turns, Sebastian just stares at the way his pants show his ass; such a good one, he has to admit. _

_And yet, even though he looks wonderful now, all that Sebastian can think of is his voice._

_It doesn't sound human. If he has to compare that to something, he would say Kurt sounds just like an angel._

_He doesn't attend the meeting of the Warblers, he can't do it. As soon as it gets over, Sebastian gets a text: "Sebastian, how come you weren't there today? Blaine and Kurt came to visit. You should have listen to Kurt singing …"_

_**That evening …**_

"_We meet again …"_

_Kurt is seriously thinking about adding the park to the list of places he can't go to anymore if he doesn't want to listen to his voice._

"_Sebastian …" He says and tries to keep running. Sebastian stops him again by his arm, just as he did last time._

"_Hey, stop. You look pretty in your undershirt …"_

_What the hell is he thinking? Sebastian complimenting him? Kurt really doesn't not how to snap back this time._

_Sebastian notices, so he just goes on._

"_I was hoping I would find you here … I heard you singing today."_

_Kurt's eyes open widely as he can't believe what Sebastian has just said._

"_Your voice is …"_

"_Annoying, girlish, ridiculous …"_

"_You sound like an angel." Sebastian stops him and moves closer to him while his fingers are still tightly wrapped around Kurt's arm. _

_Kurt still doesn't know what to say, what to answer. In Sebastian's eyes there's something he has never seen before and he doesn't understand what it is. The way he is staring at him though, the way Sebastian's eyes are linked to is, it's so unbelievably crazy._

"_I …" Kurt tries to answer but Sebastian puts his finger on his lips._

"_Shh just … don't say anything." He says and shifts closer until their mouths are pressed together._

_Kurt stiffens immediately, but slowly he lets go to those lips because weirdly they're everything he needs right now._

_When they pull away, they just stop and stare until Kurt hides his face into the crook of Sebastian's neck, shame warming his cheeks suddenly._

"_Are you going to tell Blaine about this?" He asks, still hidden there. _

_Sebastian is stunned at the hug. He isn't used to hugging people but something in the voice of the boy his holding now makes him give up. So he grabs Kurt by his hips and pulls him closer; he starts brushing Kurt's hair since Hummel doesn't look like he's about to pull off._

_There's no need for words: Kurt knows that Sebastian isn't going to tell anything. That hug is enough for him to think so._

_Suddenly though, Kurt pulls back from the hold, and, as if he's suddenly realized what he's done, he just runs away without adding anything. Sebastian just stands there, looking as Kurt runs, with a smile on his face: the things this little bitch is doing to him._

_Some weeks pass before Kurt can surrender at the idea that he has happened and that he feels something. He has been able to look normal in front of the others, even Blaine. His boyfriend doesn't suspect anything._

_But he wants Sebastian._

_He cries every night because this isn't right, he loves Blaine, Blaine is his boyfriend, he's happy with him, but still there's something that is pushing him towards Sebastian._

_The things this asshole is doing to him._

_Eventually, he decides to take his car one night and drive to Sebastian's house. He has memorized the path when he has driven home that day after the car crack._

_He knocks at the door as strong as he can._

_When Sebastian opens the door, Kurt throws himself at him and kisses him. The taste of this mouth, he would have recognized it anyway. As he leans to Sebastian's neck, the warbler grabs his hips and lifts him from the pavement to carry him inside._

_It's the first time they make love. Because it isn't just sex and they both know it and are afraid._

_They haven't stopped since that day._

/

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Sebastian asks, surprised when he sees him crying.

"Could you wear something, please?"

Sebastian looks at him awkwardly, then looks down and sees the signs on his own body and understands. He suddenly feels angry because he doesn't want to be judged. He just fucks around with whoever he wants and Kurt can really stop him from doing it.

"I'm not yours." He answers coldly.

"You always say that."

"So why are you crying about these?" Sebastian asks meanly, pointing at every sign on his body, signs that don't belong to the boy standing in front of him.

"Because every time you just make me believe that you want me, that I'm supposed to leave Blaine and stay with you, then you just go out at Scandals and fuck some stranger and you don't even hide it. You show it proudly to me." Kurt is now yelling, unable to control himself. "I'm choosing Blaine. I'll tell him about us and if he still wants me I'll be his. If he doesn't, I'll understand but I won't come back to you. I've put myself on the line for you, and what did you do for me?"

"I want you to calm down and listen to me."

"I don't want to listen to your bullshit anymore! I don't want _you_ anymore!"

At these words, Sebastian does something he had never thought he could do to Kurt: he hits him hard on his cheek with a punch, so hard that Kurt falls painfully to the ground before he can realize it.

Kurt's eyes give him the same look they've given him that day at the hospital, after Sebastian had slushied Blaine: he looks angry and wrecked.

Kurt doesn't fight back.

He does nothing like what Sebastian was expecting.

He just stands up, fix his clothes and walks of the room.

Sebastian stays there, paralyzed for his own gesture: he is a bitch, he surely is, but he doesn't hit people, especially Kurt.

Before he can realize it, he is sitting on the floor, legs pressed against his chest and forehead on his knees as he starts to cry.

As soon as Kurt walks out of the door, his phone throbs.

It's a text from Blaine: "_Baby, you weren't at school today. Is everything okay? Rachel and the others are meeting up in half a hour, I though you would have been there._"

Kurt can almost hear the sound of disappointment in this text.

"_Sorry, I was just too tired, so dad let me stay at home. I'll be there soon. I wouldn't leave you alone with Rachel and Santana._" And before he can think he adds: "_I love you._"

For the first time after months, he knows it's true.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 Confessions**_**.**_

There are two things that Kurt has to do before he meets Blaine: the first is to find a plausible excuse for that black bruise, the second is to understand how to start talking about it without the tragic and indelicate "baby, it's been two months that I've been fucking with Sebastian, hope it doesn't bother you.

The second point is going to be by far the most difficult thing.

The drive to his high school is faster than he has expected. He's already more than ten minutes late, but luckily his friends won't surely ask questions because they're accustomed to worse delays.

He almost runs to the choir room.

As soon as he sees Blaine, he plants a quick kiss on his lips with a naturalness that he had lost. As soon as they part, however, Blaine immediately notices the mysterious bruise on his cheekbone.

"Kurt ... what's that?"

"Baby, don't worry: I was walking on the sidewalk near the house and a girl hit me accidentally while greeting and speaking on the phone. It's going to go away with a little ice."

Blaine looks at him with an unconvinced expression on his face, or maybe worse, with the face of a boy who has resigned to be lied to.

"We can begin!" Blaine shouts, turning his face to Kurt and calling everyone to order.

"Guys, I want to talk to you about something, but first I'd like to make an introduction: I have a great time with you," Blaine begins, "you are wonderful friends and I'm glad I could spend wonderful hours with you doing what I love ... but I have to leave. "

The choir room is suddenly filled by the comments that arouse at his words and the first to seek a direct interaction with Blaine is Santana of course.

"Why are you going? And _where_ are you going?"

"I'm going back to Dalton." Other comments rise, especially among the boys. "I'm going back because I miss my friends, just like you missed Kurt when he moved."

Kurt leans his hand slightly to Blaine's, who shakes it back. Now they expect the worst, but it never comes. Everyone seems to have understood Blaine's reason and they have accepted it. Rachel gets up from her seat, without saying a word, and she hugs Blaine, who holds her tightly maybe because, of all people, she's the one he has bounded the most with and the one he'll miss the most. Suddenly, however, Finn raises his voice, turning to Kurt.

"And you won't say anything?"

"What should I say? I understand and support him ... that's what a boyfriend is supposed to do."

"Okay, just do as you please." Finn says, walking angrily out of the room and leaving everyone speechless. Kurt decides that, when they're going to be back at home, he's going to torment his brother until he gives him a good explanation for that attitude. As for the rest, everything has gone according to plans: hugs, kisses and greetings accompany the last meeting of glee with Blaine, and Rachel, who obviously never misses an opportunity to show off, also decides to offer a gift to Blaine with an original song - that it's not better than _My Headband_ - to wish him good luck.

When the goodbyes are done, the boys of glee decide that the next day they're going to spit into groups to find a new member for glee.

It's time to talk to Blaine.

Kurt has decided to take him to the park, on a lonely bench, so that if his boyfriend feels like screaming against him – which is surely going to happen - at least he could do that without people staring at them.

They sit in silence, unbearable tension between them. Kurt couldn't find the right words, so he decides to be the more sincere possible.

"Blaine, I need to tell you something. I haven't been honest with you during the last few months …"

Blaine stares at him and then nods, like he wants to tell him to go on. He is wearing the most serious face Kurt has ever seen on him.

"I just put up excuses not to see you, I lied about my schedules, I lied about my feelings. I cheated on you Blaine … with Sebastian."

The bomb is out and now Kurt is patiently waiting for his boyfriend – if he can still call him that – to explode.

"I know." Blaine just says though, his voice sounding so shattered and sad that Kurt can almost feel his own heart breaking into a million pieces.

"Why didn't you …"

"Say anything?" Kurt nods.

"Because I love you, asshole, and I hoped sooner or later you were going to have the guts to tell me and stop going behind my back."

Kurt is shocked: for all this time, Blaine has pretended he believed his lies when he understood exactly what was going on.

"How …" Kurt asks again, stuttering, but he doesn't manage to finish the sentence.

"How did I find out?" Blaine asks and Kurt nods again.

"Let's say you guys haven't been very attentive with your eyes when you met and I was there. Then I decided to follow you when I thought something was up. You stopped in front of Sebastian's place."

"Oh …" It's all Kurt manages to say, his eyes wide awake at the realization.

"Yeah." Blaine just replies.

They stay quit for a few minutes, the fresh wind blowing directly on their skins.

Blaine breaks the silence eventually.

"Did he do that to you?" He asks Kurt, pointing at the swollen sign on his cheek.

"Yeah … I've gone to him this morning to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore and when I did … he hit me."

Kurt sees Blaine tightening his hands around his own knees; no matter what happened between them, Blaine couldn't stop worrying about him. Kurt feels guilty and before he can think, he's already leaning his hand on Blaine's. He pulls it away immediately though, thinking that Blaine probably doesn't want to be touched by him anymore.

Yet, once again, Blaine surprises him: with his other hand he covers Kurt's before he can pull it away completely. They stay like this, staring at their own hands without even speaking. Neither of them knows what to do.

The more time went by, the more Blaine had convinced himself that he hated Kurt. He had made up a lecture to yell in his face the day Kurt was going to confess, to tell him what a subtle liar he had been; to tell him that he didn't deserve his love. But still, he can do nothing like that, because he loves Kurt, he still loves him no matter what.

"Blaine, there's something else you need to know though … during these months, I … I fell for Sebastian, and I think I might be in love with him still, even now."

Kurt feels Blaine's hand tighten spontaneously around his own. It hurts, he knows that, but he also knows that he wants to be completely honest with him now to give him the chance to decide if he still wants him or not. He needs to know that in his heart there's still a place for Sebastian, and he has no idea how long it would take before it fades.

"I thought so. You never were the kind of guy who just sleeps around."

"I thought you would yell at me, or try to kill me … I would deserve that."

Blaine smiles weakly, his head down.

"When I found out, I would have done that in the beginning. I stayed at home for days." He explains, unable to look up. He knows Kurt is going to understand anyway.

Kurt spreads his eyes.

"The flu …"

"The flu." Blaine confirms, nodding, "The first night I called Cooper. He listened to me and then made me calm. Then I started feeling bad, blaming it on myself, how distant I was from you, the way I'm terribly egocentric, the times I wasn't there for you. Everything just passed through my mind all of a sudden, and I almost understood why you did that; then I realized that if I really loved you, the only way I could make a choice was waiting for you. If I could do that, if I could stand through this until you told me, then I would have been completely sure about my own feeling for you at least."

Blaine fought for him.

The though just makes Kurt feel sicker. He slowly starts crying but he realizes it only when he sees tears falling on his hand, the one free from Blaine's hold.

He has no idea what to say.

"I want you back, Kurt. We will have to build back anything you've destroyed. It's going to take time, _I_ am going to need time. But if we want to start again, I need to know that your heart belongs only to me."

"I understand that. Blaine … I want what we had back as much as you do, but not now. I would lie to you if I told you I don't feel anything for Sebastian, and I don't want to lie anymore. I've decided that I want to be honest with you and I want to do that for real because you deserve it. You're best person I've ever met and I can't really understand why you want to stay with me even though what happened."

"You're the worst, I know. I hated you, a lot. I'm here, ready to start again but that's only because it's you … and I can see it in your eyes, Kurt. You're not that person you were a month ago, I can see it. That's why I want you to prove me that you're still the amazing awesome man I feel in love with."

Kurt doesn't know what to say anymore. He just looks at Blaine in the eyes, as he's always done, even if this time there's a shade of shame and the acknowledge that he is going to have to fight. And he's going to do that.

If Blaine wants him to prove that he is still himself and they can be KurtAndBlaine again, then he's going to do that.

Suddenly, though, he acknowledges something else too.

"You're going back to Dalton." It's not a question. With Blaine moving there, they won't catch up a lot. Also, Sebastian is at Dalton.

Blaine nods, but he doesn't answer: he perfectly knows what's going through Kurt's mind.

The moments of silence that follow make Blaine realize that the conversation is over. They are going to take their time and they won't push on things to make it all happen faster.

Kurt stands up from the bench absently and without even turning to Blaine, he says: "I know you're probably going to need some time, but I wanted to ask you … can we keep in touch sometimes?"

"Kurt, you're right, I need some time. Maybe moving at Dalton was a right choice at the right timing. I won't kill you though if you text me, but I'd rather have my space. I'll be the one to call you."

Kurt understands that it's time to go after that.

He wasn't expecting Blaine to react like this, but maybe since he has known it for long, he had already gone through a lot to calm down and focus on what really matters, what he truly feels. And then, even though things had gone better than Kurt had expected, he couldn't help but feel sad. Blaine is right though: he must take all the time he needs, he deserves it. He has already been too kind with Kurt.

Facing these simple truths, Kurt remembers the real reasons why he feel for Blaine: he is the type of boy who focuses on the details, he sometimes gets lost on silly things, but when it comes to what matters, he always knows what to do, how to do it and what to say. He is ingenuous, sometimes smug and egocentric, but he's still the best person Kurt has ever met, the best friend he has hoped to have and the best man one could want to love.

His stream of thoughts is interrupted from a throb of his phone.

"_Kurt, I'm sorry. I didn't want to hit you. Come to my place if you want to. Sebastian._"

Before he can think, Kurt just deletes the text.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Hi everybody! After holidays I'm back with a new chapter. This is chapter is full of news and I hope you like it.

As always, thanks to Edy for translation : )

PS: Also thanks to all the people who have commented, followed or favorited my story!

**Beta: **Amanda908565.

/

**Chapter 5 The Power of Friendship.**

It's been a week now and Kurt has avoided carefully all the text Sebastian has been sending him, deleting them without even answering.

He doesn't understand why, now that he has left him for good, Sebastian continues to look for him while in the weeks they'd spent as lovers, he was the one not replying to his texts, almost as if he was never interested.

He's just like a child who begins to taste something only when it is absolutely prohibited.

He has sent a few texts to Blaine, who has now moved to Dalton, to ask him how he is doing and, as promised, Blaine has replied. Kurt has decided to respect his choice and hasn't called him, asked him to get out, although he'd have liked to see him again; he's waiting for Blaine to make the first move. In fact he had thought that Blaine wasn't going to reply his text even, but he had hoped he did, because knowing he's fine makes him feel less guilty.

Away from Sebastian, Kurt feels alive again.

He is free from everything, from lies, guilt, pain. He doesn't hate Sebastian because Kurt is aware that the blame for this disaster is totally his own. During this week of solitude he has often cried, because he's felt like a bad person, a person who he doesn't recognize anymore. He doesn't regret the time he's passed with Sebastian, or at least he does partly only because he has hurt one of the most important people in his life. Surely if he could go back, he wouldn't do that again, but going on with whatever they had has a choice dictated by his heart and he can't fully consider it a mistake. He's hurting, however, very much, and he can't even search for advice. He feels fragile as ever and the fact that he misses Blaine is not helping.

He hasn't said a word to anyone about what had happened, he hasn't even mentioned the fact that he and Blaine have broken up because he would have said simply "guys, I'm not with Blaine anymore" and then left. It would have made question blossom and he's still afraid of the judgments, the looks.

He is alone on a Saturday afternoon, sitting on his bed while reading a novel that his ex-boyfriend has given him before the big mess, when he hears the phone ring. It's a number that he doesn't know and it makes him hesitate from answering: maybe it's Sebastian who tries to rip him off using an unknown number to call and get answered.

The curiosity is too much, however, so he decides to pick up at the tenth ring.

"_Kurt, finally!_" On the other end of the phone he hears Rachel's voice and breathes a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry Rachel, but I don't have this number in my contacts."

"_Ah sorry ... It's my second number; I use it when I'm off of credit_."

"Got it. How come you're looking for me?"

"I wanted to know if you're busy today. Mercedes and I wanted to go to the new store that opened in the mall and wanted to know if you wanted to come with us ... so long that we won't not go together."

Kurt thinks about it for a moment: it's been so long since he's gone out with Rachel and Mercedes, they've been his best friends for years, and he loves going out with them. Even though in recent times he has lied many more times than he'd wanted for his sudden runaways from home to get to Sebastian's and then the missed days of school, the lies he'd told not to come out when he was crying all night long and couldn't move from his room while feeling like this. Unknowingly, also the two of them have undergone the other Kurt, but since they've always been good friends, they hadn't told him even if at least Mercedes has always noticed that many times Kurt's excuses were so trivial that it couldn't sound believable.

Facing Rachel's plans, however, he realizes how lonely he had become, and how much he misses his friends, how much he's missed those carefree days.

"I'd love to, Rachel ... I'll pick you up at four?"

"All right! I'm calling 'Cedes ... see you later."

"See you later."

/

After months of forced distance, he has finally managed to come back at Dalton, where his freinds are. He still can't believe it.

During the week, he had almost managed not to think about Kurt at all. The Warblers reunions he had enjoyed – even though Sebastian was there, he always kept a distance between them, even if he probably doesn't know that Kurt told him -, the lessons, chatting with Jeff and the guys who wanted to know anything about New Directions for competitions, the party they had put up for his return, everything distracted him and calmed him for a few hours.

The weekend came by though and everybody went home. He hasn't gone home for a while, actually, and even if he decided to go, the tension that is there everytime Blaine enters his place, isn't really going to help him clear his mind. In fact, since his parents looked like they had hesitation about going to get Blaine to the hospital after the slushie accident, he doesn't feel like seeing them; Cooper was the only one close to him. He was the one who went there to get him. His thoughts go back to that horrible hospital day. He remembers that as soon as he sat on the hospital bed, the only thing he hoped to see was those wonderful blue eyes entering the door … and, as soon as the doctor went out, Kurt appeared in front of him, and he loved him even more. His boyfriend had been there, he had cried for him, he had been closest to him until he was forced to leave the room. He had comforted him and helped him push the fear away.

Blaine shakes his head, trying not to think about it. He has to be strong this time.

After a minute spent sitting on the bed, not looking at anything in particular, he hears someone knocking on the door.

"Hey, hobbit!"

"Hi Jeff." Blaine asks distractingly, watching as the guy entered the room they share.

"I thought I had the room to myself today. How come you're not with Kurt?"

Blaine doesn't answer. He just stares at Jeff unwillingly. Just like Kurt, he had decided not to talk about it with anyone else.

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"Jeff, I don't really want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay …" Jeff answers, sounding not too sure about it. He steps into the room though and he starts searching for something on their DVDs shelf.

"Listen, since I'm here, what I'm about we watch something like …" He starts wandering with his fingers over the titles of the DVDs, searching for the perfect movie to cheer Blaine up. Eventually, Blaine sees Jeff lifting a box happily. "Harry Potter! We'll watch the first one, so you can force me to watch the others too."

Blaine is now smiling like he hasn't done in a while. Jeff surely succeeded in his plan and since he tried so hard, Blaine doesn't really feel like disappointing him, so he just nods to Jeff and the boy sits on the floor, in front of the bed. He starts working on the player and then he nods to Blaine and he slides off of the bed, sitting next to him.

The movie had been going for too little when someone's knocking on the door. Jeff opens only to find Nick, Trent and Thad at the door with food and drinks in their hands.

"Food support!" Trent screams.

"There's no way we're watching Harry Potter without some good junk food!" Nick confirms, like it's obvious.

When they press play again, it's five of them sitting on the floor, in front of the TV, surrounded by food of all sorts, sweet, fried, salty. No fast food could compete.

Blaine knows that the guys have probably noticed something was wrong and that's why they've decided to stick with him instead of going home. Before he can even realize it, his eyes are filling with tears, so Blaine fights them back because his friends are here to make him smile and he's just going to smile today.

/

Sebastian is alone at home.

He's going to stay out all night, so he'll better spend his afternoon sleeping.

He has spent all week trying to get in touch with Kurt somehow. He is not going to use a carrier pigeon. Of course Kurt didn't reply. The bitch can be stubborn.

Sebastian isn't the kind of guy who worries about other people too much, and yet he feels terribly guilty for having hit Kurt like that, for the way Kurt had looked at him. He hates feeling like this just as much as he hates feeling rejected. They're both two things which is not used to.

Plus, he's curious. He wants to know whether or not Kurt talked to Blaine, how Blaine reacted, if they got back together. Maybe they didn't. He doesn't think Blaine might forgive their night stands. It wasn't just once and Sebastian had understood Kurt was slowly falling for him. Maybe he's abandoned Sebastian and this thing between them right before he fell.

He wants Kurt, really wants him all for himself. And even though he knows it take so little to have him now, maybe just whispering _I love you_, to stop Kurt and make him chose him, he is not going to do it. He didn't use this advantage to make him change his mind when Kurt told him he didn't want him anymore: he hit him, blinded by anger, that's what he did. And now he's here, laid, hurt because he would want him pressed on his chest in the bed in which they loved each other, joked, laughed and cried.

The fact that Kurt is far from him now, what he feels, is making him understand how much impact Kurt actually had on him from the first moment, because he's strong, he never breaks, his tongue is sharp like a sword, because Sebastian saw him as beautiful as he never thought Kurt could be. Sweet, shy, and adorable. Sebastian made him grow, made him more aware of sensuality. Kurt owes him something; that is for sure.

Maybe, he owes Kurt something too, especially for those moments when – Sebastian never told him – Kurt made him feel different, able to love and be kind, a better man. Yes, Kurt had given him the chance to look at himself in the mirror and not feel like a bitch. But everytime fear takes over and goes back to being himself: cynic, selfish. An asshole.

Kurt will never know about this.

Sebastian isn't weak, even though he feels so everytime he strokes Kurt's skin and he's been so lost with the sensation that it made him feel vulnerable.

He's still laid on his bed when he gets a text he wasn't expecting.

"_Bastian, I'm taking you out! Wear something, I'll be there in an hour. Christine."_

The girl totally scares him. How the hell does his sister know he is alone at home overthinking about something hurtful? Maybe she's saving him … again.

/

The afternoon at the mall had gone in the easiest way possible: they had shopped like crazy hysterical girls, eaten ice-cream, went to the music shop to hum to the songs playing out loud.

A normal afternoon with his best friends, something Kurt didn't have for a while.

"Listen, Kurt. Can I ask you why you're not at Blaine's today?"

Mercedes asks in her usual honesty. He can't answer the question though. It's going to lead to so many more if he does.

"We had a fight, nothing too big. You know, it happens."

Mercedes doesn't sound too convinced with Kurt's answer but she doesn't insist anyway. Kurt is totally grateful for that.

Rachel - who had been checking on the movies schedules because it's probably going to be the last activity of their afternoon together – comes back without noticing how unsure and weird her friends look all of a sudden. When she wants, she can totally be a sweet friend, but she really isn't too attentive, especially is the thing she's supposed to notice isn't directly linked to her.

They keep on walking around for a few minutes with the movies tickets into their hands, patiently waiting for the auditorium to be opened when, suddenly, a show window gets Kurt's attention: it's full of bowties, but one in particular gets is attention; it's blue and yellow.

He has seen it once when he was with Blaine, before his birthday, while they were looking at the shop window just like he's doing now with the girls, walking closer, holding hands, because that's all he and Blaine could do when they were in public. Blaine loved it and Kurt promised he was going to buy that for his birthday. He didn't though because he spent Blaine's birthday in Sebastian's bed, with a good and believable excuse.

Someone is suddenly touching his shoulder. It's Mercedes and Rachel is looking at Kurt with worry in her eyes. Kurt is starring at her, he's looking at his friend while they stare at him, and he bites his lower lip to fight back the tears that are starting to gather and come out as he thinks about Blaine and his memories.

Before he can realize it, Mercedes is tugging his arm until they're behind a wall, isolated between two shops. The girl holds him tight and Rachel starts stroking his back and then his hair. Kurt cries hard and he pulls out everything he is feeling.

His friends let him do until his last tears dry out. When they see that Kurt has stopped shaking from crying, they let him go and help him fix himself.

"Kurt," Rachel speaks, "what happened with Blaine?"

Kurt widens his eyes: how does Rachel know this has to do with Blaine? Only Mercedes knew because they had said it before.

"Do you think I'm stupid? I got it as soon as I saw you. Only something about Blaine could bring you down like this."

Mercedes stays silent and waits for Kurt to answer. He can't feel this bad just for a fight.

"So?" Rachel insists.

"Rachel, trust me. You don't want to know what happened. You'll see me differently and that would make sense."

"Kurt, honey." Mercedes starts, stroking his face softly. "Did we ever judge you?"

"Don't answer." Rachel adds as soon as she sees Kurt open his mouth, so that Mercedes can continue: "It would do you good to talk about it, and maybe we might help you figuring out what to do."

"Blaine and I are not together anymore."

The girls at him in shock, like he's said something crazy. All of their friends, not only the two of them, had always seen Blaine and his relationship like rare love, something that could cross any difficulty and would last forever. A fairytale love. That's why the girls are shock when they find out they broke up.

"How did that happen?" Rachel aks.

"I cheated on him."

Nothing could describe what Kurt sees on his friends' faces, but it's more surprise than disgust like Kurt would have expected.

"You're got a lot of things to tell, sir." Mercedes says, tugging and pulling Kurt towards the first bar they can find, followed by Rachel.

It's going to be a long talk.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Hi Guys! I'm back with a quickly update, I hope you're happy about that! Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter, I like all this!

This chapter is one of my favorite and I hope you like it too. Enjoy! :)

**Chapter 6 **_**Love is the only thing that matters**_**.**

Kurt tells them everything. He tells them about the cheating, about talking with Blaine and the way things are now. He couldn't hide it to his friends anymore and seen how dramatically he had reacted during all afternoon, it was evident that it wasn't just about a fight, but something more.

"Didn't he slap you in the face?" Rachel asks in shock.

"Rachel!" Mercedes scolds her, giving her a bitch glare.

"Sorry …" Rachel murmurs to Kurt, who shakes a hand in the air so that she understands that she doesn't have to apologize.

"Don't worry, Rachel. When I met him to talk about it, I thought he was going to react like this too, screaming at me or something. But he was just …"

"Blaine." Mercedes cuts.

"Yeah," Kurt is so relieved that his friends aren't judging him, at least for now. The reactions to his story weren't that bad and the girls actually look more worried than judging. Rachel and Mercedes are mostly curious to know what was going through Kurt's mind when it happened, since they know how much he loves Blaine and, even now, after endless streams of tears, he is proving it somehow, to the pain he is feeling. If Kurt didn't love him, he wouldn't even be hurt from himself now.

Mercedes is the one who asks why Kurt let go without even thinking about his boyfriend.

"I don't know. His flirts must have come at wrong time. Blaine and I were tense, I had issues, and Sebastian just happened to be there." The girls nod, they seem to understand.

"Kurt," Mercedes starts, "I think that you're still in love with Blaine. If you weren't, you wouldn't react like this when you think about it. You miss him, and, well, you deserve a little suffering now. You made a mess, honey, and be thankful for the fact that Blaine was still the sweet, awesome and attentive guy we know he is, because otherwise, the mortuary would have been your new place to live at."

"And you said I was the indelicate one." Rachel pleads, offended.

"Berry, you totally are." Mercedes replies nonchalantly.

"I'm the most delicate person in the world."

"Oh shut up!"

"Hey, how dare you?"

That's when Kurt decides he has to do something, though the show makes him smile, which is something that hadn't happened in a long time.

"Girls, we're here to take care of my problem. You'll kill each other later."

Letting them fight into a bar at the mall, with such a huge crowd around them, is not the wisest thing to do. The girls finally shut and go back to pay attention to Kurt who is sipping his latte.

"Kurt, let me say it," Mercedes hints, looking serious now, "I think you should let Blaine have some time alone. He has to see you respect his will, maybe it's a way to show him that you still love him."

"You have no idea how much I love him. I just fucked up, but I've never stopped loving him.

"Kurt, I need to ask you something more though," Mercedes starts again, "How do you feel about Sebastian now?"

The question comes like lighting into a clean sky. What can he even answer when he didn't succeed with making it clear to himself before? Of course, this week without Sebastian made him feel lighter and less mean; it made him feel what he hadn't felt in a long time when it comes to Blaine. Maybe what he thought he felt for Sebastian was never real.

"I think Sebastian was nothing but strong passion. Being completely honest, I couldn't spend more than two days away from his bed. It was sort of an addiction. I thought I loved him, but right now, I don't think love for Sebastian is something one can handle."

"But you do feel something." Mercedes insists, but this time it's not a question. Kurt just nods.

"I guess this is why Blaine wanted to take some time off. He doesn't want to share me with anybody."

"To be honest, I think this is such a gentlemanly and lovely thing." Rachel says, trying to comfort Kurt, since he seems like he's about to cry again. He tries to hold it though.

"I think so too, Rachel." Kurt says, but then he adds a question he's afraid to hear the answer to, "Am I ever going to get my boyfriend back?"

Mercedes takes Kurt's hand into his own, and Rachel does the same with the other hand.

They both look at him so sweetly and fondly that Kurt's heart melts. They're the only ones that make him feel strong and needy for cures at the same time. Right now, before these gazes, Kurt understands that he made the right choice by talking to them about this mess.

"I don't know, sweetie," Mercedes answers for both, "but he surely loves you. If he didn't, he would have broken up with you, that's for sure. I think he's trying to understand if it's worth it."

"I hope it is." Kurt says, sobbing and trying to fight back the tears who are pressing to come out. "How could I do that to him? He's been hurt for weeks …"

"Hey, honey, don't be too hard on yourself. If I know Blaine, that's not what he wants."

"If he wanted me to be hurt, Rachel, I would hate myself less than I do. Instead, I just always end up thinking at how awesomely comprehensive he is and feel more and more like a true asshole." A tear streams down Kurt's face and Mercedes wipes it away fondly.

"Thanks girls," Kurt holds their hands a little more tightly, "What would I do with you?" He asks and he really wonders about it.

"You'd be screwed!" Rachel says, making them laugh.

"Okay." Kurt says, putting his own pieces up together again. "Ready for our movie?"

Rachel and Mercedes take his arms and they start walking towards the cinema.

/

Days go by with friends and school. Kurt seems able to go back to his life. He hasn't heard from Blaine or Sebastian. Every day he spends far from them makes him feel conflicted. Sometimes he's sad about not hearing from Blaine and sometimes he's just relieved when he notices Sebastian isn't texting anymore.

The mark on his skin is gone, but pieces of what he felt for Sebastian during the last months come back often and suddenly, constantly reminding him what he did and how much he's supposed to hate himself for it. Emotions make his securities stumble.

Every security suddenly comes back on Monday, in the afternoon.

He's just come back home from school. Glee club had been completely annoying. Rachel gave a show as she always does and Santana got mad and tried to hit her. No one talked about the Nationals set list because they were too busy enjoying the fight.

When he puts his phone on the bed, he doesn't expect it to ring. He picks up before he can actually check the number, because he's sure this is just Rachel that still wants to bore him about how much better she is than the rest of the club and what a bitch Santana is for hating her.

"Hello?!" He says, his voice sounding annoyed already.

"I'm sorry … I didn't … if you're busy, I-"

"Hey, no, no! Blaine, I am the one who's sorry. I thought it was Rachel." Kurt says immediately when he recognizes Blaine's voice on the phone. He missed it so much.

"Usual Rachel just being Rachel?" Blaine asks giggling. Kurt has missed his giggle too.

"Yeah, definitely. How are you?" Kurt asks, now sounding embarrassed.

"Quite fine. How are you doing?"

"Same …"

They both sound definitely embarrassed now and silence is wearing on as either of them has no idea what to say.

Blaine breaks it with a question that makes Kurt startle, because he wasn't expecting it, of course.

"Do you feel like coming to Dalton?" Kurt is speechless for a few moments.

Blaine has called him, Blaine has asked him to go there and meet him. Maybe there's still some hope for them.

"Yeah, of course, I may come now if you want me to."

"Okay, I'll be waiting then." Blaine says and then he hangs up.

Almost in a moment, Kurt goes from being half-depressed to crazy.

He starts running around the room, searching for something he isn't even sure about. Eventually, he calms down, breathes deeply and just thinks. He hasn't stripped of his clothes yet, so he is still dressed and okay. He looks into the mirror and thinks he's actually cool like this, so he just walks downstairs to tell his dad that he's going to meet Blaine at Dalton, so he'll be late, and then he goes out.

The trip to Dalton is slower than Kurt had imagined. It's like the more he wants something, the slower he moves and the more endless the road to it seems to him.

In front of the gates of Dalton, he can't manage to hold a realization. Dalton means Blaine, but it also means Sebastian. He definitely hopes he won't meet him. That would be too embarrassing.

He doesn't realize but he is actually running towards Blaine's room. There aren't any teachers around luckily. If there were, he would have been kicked out of school in a moment, since Dalton doesn't easily allow visitors.

He stops his run in front of Blaine's room, almost falling into it. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

From the other side, Blaine's voice invites him to get in.

Feeling afraid that this might only be a dream, Kurt opens the door of the room and finds himself staring at Blaine in a tracksuit.

He looks even more handsome, as if years had gone.

His hair is free from the gel and right now he loves that Blaine probably did it on purpose because he knows how much Kurt loves moving his fingers through it and messing it.

They stay like this, frozen for a moment and looking into each other's eyes, smiling.

Then, all of a sudden, they both run until they're hugging, so tightly that it hurts, but it's okay. The strong arms holding Kurt now are anything he needs. There's nothing in the world that could make him feel surer, more protected and perfect than this. He slots his head into the crook of Blaine's neck, pressing soft kisses and stopping only to breathe in his scent, because there's a part of him that still fears this might be the last time he has the chance to do it.

"I missed you," Kurt whispers into his ear.

"I missed you too," Blaine answers. He doesn't add anything. He doesn't need to.

They look into each other's eyes and that's enough. They can read there anything they need to know.

With no further waiting, Blaine presses his lips on Kurt's, who immediately kisses back. As soon as they part to breathe, Blaine leans a hand over Kurt's cheek and with the sweetest voice possible he tells him, "Don't ever do such a thing to me, Kurt. Ever again. I need you and you're mine."

His eyes are the most beautiful thing Kurt has ever seen. They're filled with a passion he has never noticed before, not when it comes to him at least. They're the eyes Blaine has when he sings. He has never looked at Kurt like this before. Kurt doesn't know if all that happened made somehow Blaine see him differently, but this isn't surely the way Blaine looked at him when they were together and there wasn't any Sebastian in their lives.

"I swear I won't, Blaine. I love you." These words mean everything.

Blaine throws a hand behind Kurt's head and presses his lips on his, this time more passionately and urgently.

Before he can realize, they're exploring each other's bodies, their hands never have enough of the touches and they're already addicted to each other's smells again. Blaine's hand slides under Kurt's shirt, brushing his abs and Kurt groans into Blaine's ear at the touch. Just like him, Kurt starts playing with his hands under Blaine's shirt, enjoying the feeling that comes from his skin every single time. They keep on kiss, pulling their shirts off so that their bodies can touch with no obstacles.

Blaine slowly moves Kurt around the room until he's laying on the bed, and Anderson climbs over him. Their hands start wondering lower, making them both moan. It's all magical and amazing, so out of the world that none of them can believe it. Feeling overwhelmed and excited at the idea of having Blaine to himself again, Kurt moves his hands to reach the waistband of his pants to pull them off, but he gets stopped by Blaine's hand.

"Kurt … I really don't feel like it, I'm sorry."

Kurt moves his hand upwards again, pressing it on Blaine's heart, and then he is looking into his eyes with a smile on his face.

"You don't have to apologize. This is so much more than I expected." He says and then leans his head on Blaine's chest. Blaine wraps his arms around him immediately.

There's no way he can stop loving this feeling of being complete.

They stay like this for a moment, breathing each other's scents and remembering how it was to just be together. Because laying down like this together has never been just that to them, they're linked in a way only a few people could understand. It's like they detach from the world and become part of their own person universe, which is only filled with love.

Of course it's all too perfect to stay like this.

All of a sudden, the door of Blaine's room opens and they both hear a familiar voice.

"Listen, Blaine, the guy said I had to tell you to …" Sebastian stops there, on the threshold, his eyes and his lips widened in surprises.

Without even adding a word, he turns around not to look at where Kurt and Blaine are still pressed together and he gets out of the room.

Blaine and Kurt are both astonished. They weren't expecting this interruption. When Kurt sees Sebastian walking away with a mixed expression of disappointment and surprise on his face, he moves instinctively towards the door to follow him, but he doesn't.

He's with his knees on the bed, ready to go, when Blaine grabs his arm.

Kurt turns around, meeting Blaine's eyes with his own. He can read into his irises the fear that Kurt might leave, that by following Sebastian, he might choose him over Blaine. But Kurt does something Blaine wasn't expecting; he smiles and presses a soft kiss on his lips before he's laying back beside him.

Blaine knows that Kurt's instinctive reaction was to follow Sebastian, but then he thinks that maybe he would have done the same just because Sebastian looked sad; but Kurt has chosen him.

Kurt is here with him now and that's what really matters.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Hi everyone! This chapter is one of my favorites because has an original character that I love very much as a protagonist and I hope you love her. This chapter is also full of revelations about Sebastian's past, but I don't want tell you more than that before you read! Enjoy!

PS: Thanks edyferrone for everything!

**Beta**: Kiamilachan.

/

**Chapter 7 **_**Coffee and sister**__._

"Christine, I can't! What the fuck is happening to me?"

Sebastian and his sister had been sitting for two hours at a table in the Lima Bean, as far as possible from the rest of the people there. Seeing Kurt and Blaine pressed together in Blaine's room, cuddling, had made him feel weird, like something in the mask he had worn for years had broken. Kurt's face, his expression while he leant over Blaine's chest, is something Sebastian never had to himself. He looked relaxed, in love, he was wearing the face one wears when he knows is in the right place.

Usually, Sebastian would have laughed at the sight of another unbearable little couple in love. And yet he can't help but feel bad because he hadn't been able to make Kurt look so relaxed; in fact, maybe it was Kurt who made Sebastian feel like he was in love instead.

"Bastian, stop pining yourself for that. It's way too easy to see it, you're in lo-"

"Don't even say it, please." Sebastian blocks her, passing his hands into his hair and pulling it harshly. Maybe the pain he would feel for that would be a good distraction for what he feels in his heart.

"It's useless for you to run from this thing, little brother. I can avoid using the word, but it won't change the facts."

"Chistie, you haven't seen his eyes. Oh and he stayed with him, so it's better for them to just stick together."

Christine stares at her brother with a knowing look. No matter how many years of fun and sex Sebastian had spent only trying not to fall in love, at the end it happened anyway. This boy was able to make Sebastian fall for him.

Many things in his life made Sebastian doubt the existence of love. First, his passion for easy fun and all the disastrous situations that love generated: wrecked friendships, his parents who don't love each other anymore and keep on living a stressed life together. And there was Duncan. They met in Paris, the year before he moved to Ohio. Sebastian loved him, he loved him so much, and maybe that was his blame.

They were always together, all the time, and then something happened. All of a sudden, Christine saw his brother come back home with tears in eyes. He didn't talk to anybody for weeks. She was the only one who could enter his room, only to bring him food, but he rarely ate. Sebastian didn't talk or eat, he didn't go out, he didn't meet anybody. He stayed there, sitting with his legs crossed on the bed, holding his first photo with Duncan. The rest of the presents, photos, hand-written papers that Duncan had given to him were around the room, messed and wrecked. One day, she entered his room without asking for permission. The fact that it was all dark didn't surprise her, since Sebastian didn't want to see the light of the sun anymore. What she saw in the darkness though killed her like nothing had ever done. Sebastian was pressed with his back against the bed, sitting on the floor, arms leant at the sides of his crossed legs, practically unconscious. There was blood everywhere. Sebastian tried to kill himself. They desperately took him the hospital, but he was eventually safe.

It had been days, but finally Sebastian started to feel better.

She had no idea how, but she managed to talk to him, having him to explain what had happened with his boyfriend, since it brought him to this. Sebastian told her they made love the day he came home crying. He told her he asked Duncan to go to Ohio with them, to not just leave him. He told her about how Duncan just laughed in his face and told him he didn't want a pleading girl by his side, but a real man who knew when things had to get over.

One month later, they landed at Cincinnati, Duncan wasn't there and Sebastian was wrecked.

So he turned into this person, the guy who's lost in pleasure, funny and crazy night. He has become the boy who used and humiliated people.

He'd never fallen in love again and he was sure it wasn't going to happen. He didn't want to get that hurt again. For Christine, who was always his only trusted confident, that attitude was only a proof for his weakness and his endless fear. In the end though, Sebastian had become like shattered glass; in the eyes of other people, he might seem perfect once they have put all the pieces back together, but to people who know him, the little cracks on the surface, the ones that seem ready to break at every moment, are pretty evident.

And yet, eventually, it seems like someone has been able to put the pieces together again for real.

"Bas, it's human to just love, even getting hurt from it. Did you ever talk to this guy about it?"

"Why should I do that?" Sebastian asks annoyed.

"Because you love him maybe?" Christine answers, like it's so evident that it's impossible that Sebastian didn't notice already.

"Let's say that's the case, even if it were …"

"Oh finally!"

"I said let's say that's the case," He repeats firmly, "What am I supposed to do? He's with Blaine and that's just the best thing for everybody. They're in love with each other. I will always be just a mistake for Kurt, hopefully, just a mistake who gave him awesome fucks."

At these words, Christine can't help but roll her eyes to the ceiling and look at his brother accusatorily again.

"Bas, when will you stop being so awful?" She clears her throat and adds, "You love him anyway and you treated him like one of your sluts. Wow, that's really smart." It's Sebastian's turn to roll his eyes.

"Oh, okay, I'm bitch. Tell me something I don't know yet."

"I can't tell you anything more than this, at least not until you realize you're in love with him. Make up your mind and maybe we can talk about it."

Sebastian finds himself sighing and then shrieking against his sister, "Fine! _I'm in love with him!_"

"Great, little brother. Then we can talk about it." Christine leans her hand to take his brother's while he looks down. "You have to try and talk to him, Bas. Just try and be honest with him for once."

"Have you forgotten he doesn't want to talk to me anymore? He doesn't even answer my texts."

"Hey, where's my stubborn brother? I thought you never give up so easily."

"Christie, he's already been hurt too much because of me. I should have kicked him out of my place after the first time he cried after sex. That would have been better."

"Hey, don't be like that. Try and talk to him. If he decides he prefers his boyfriend to you, then it means he really loves him and you can't do nothing but let him go, hoping that he'll be happy."

Sebastian finally lifts his eyes at that as he looks at his sister.

"What would happen to me?"

"You'd find someone else to love. You could give so much love, Bas, all the love you denied yourself in the last year and a half."

"Maybe you're right." Sebastian answers, smiling.

"I don't like that _maybe_." They both laugh.

The afternoon is quite calm. They drink their coffees, go out shopping, walk to the part and lean on the lawn listening to Sebastian's iPod playlist.

When he goes back home, Sebastian seems like he's already lost part of the happiness and relax that came with the day spent with his sister.

He was so happy when his parents told him that if he wanted he could live in a house instead of the dorms at Dalton, but now this empty house seems so heavy and he realizes he would want so much to find someone waiting for him when he comes back, he would want to hear Kurt's voice calling him out from the kitchen while he cooks something for both of them.

Like he's carried from a mystic force, Sebastian pulls the phone out of his pants. He doesn't know which words might exactly convince Kurt to talk to him. He doesn't even know if Kurt reads the texts before he actually deletes them.

_Kurt. I really need to talk to you. I don't want to hit you or anything. I just want to talk. I have so many things to tell you. Just let me know if you're in._

The text isn't actually that convincing, he knows. He just hopes Kurt would reply. If he doesn't, maybe Sebastian should give up already.

He decides to have a shower and just put himself comfortable. He had gotten a few texts that asked to go out, from his friends, mostly just some guy with whom he does some drinking at times, but he declines. He doesn't feel like going out. The first frightening thing that comes into his mind is that he fell into the trap again. He's going back to the self-pity after break-up situation with Duncan. First, he doesn't want to go out, and then he won't eat and end up at the hospital. Maybe this time he would even succeed in what he might start.

His phone throbbing on the desk though brings him back from those thoughts. He's almost afraid to check on what it might be. He takes a deep breath and reads the text. It's from Kurt of course. He opens it, hope filling his heart.

_Sebastian, I don't think that's a good idea. I really need some time now. I'll be the one texting you when I feel like it, I promise. About the punch … I accept your apologies. _

_Ps – Blaine read the text, I hope you don't mind. I promised him I would be honest and I really want to do it this time._

Blaine, it's always Blaine. Whatever Sebastian says, thinks or does, there's always his name pumping into his head. He hates hearing it from Kurt. What did Blaine give to Kurt apart from his ego and his wanting to be the best in whatever he does? He has always taken for granted that Kurt always accepted the way Blaine stepped over him for attentions like it was okay. Blaine is the most handsome, talent and boyish one, isn't he? Just right now Sebastian sees how it must be for Kurt to be constantly in a challenge with him. Now he sees what has made the dreamy couple crash once, what had made Kurt fall into his arms that day at the park.

And yet, he's lost in his thoughts again and the more time goes by, then more Sebastian feels like he can't let that egocentric dwarf win this. Sebastian is perfect for Kurt because he's his opposite; Kurt's sweet, kind and polite, he gets embarrassed about anything, and he's amazingly perfect. Sebastian is an unkind bitch, the most direct and embarrassing guy ever and he isn't perfect, but he is perfect for Kurt.

With these thoughts in mind and the hope that Kurt would really allow them a chance to talk, Sebastian walks downstairs to eat something and then he goes to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Hi everyone! I cried a lot as I wrote this chapter, because Burt Hummel is the best father ever! A big thank to Kiamilachan who is the beta and Edy for translating!

/

**Chapter 8 Part 1 Disappointment**

It has been three days since he got the text from Sebastian. What hell was he thinking? If someone told him a month ago that there was going to deny Sebastian a chance to see each other, he would have laughed at them in the face. And yet, he has decided that he doesn't want to see him; that he doesn't want to talk to him. _There's only Blaine now_, he thinks to himself, and that's true. He doesn't want to disappoint him again, since he has no idea how can he even _give _Kurt a second chance. He can't fuck this up.

If Blaine would have read the text without Kurt telling him, he would have thought something was up, since he probably doesn't trust Kurt that much now, and Kurt can't blame him for that. So Kurt showed him the text, to prove Blaine that he doesn't want to hide anything from him, not anymore. It seemed like the only logical thing and he was right.

Blaine read it in silence, probably a few times because he stares at the screen for a few minutes. Kurt sees something into his eyes. May it be fear again?

The words coming out of Blaine's mouth confirm it quickly.

"Do you want to go?"

Kurt takes the phone from Blaine's hands, smiling, and the boy looks like he has no idea what he is doing or why he doesn't answer his question. He sees him pressing on the touch screen until Kurt is leaning his phone towards him again, handing it.

"This is my reply, Blaine. I replied an hour ago, when I got the text." Kurt declined, said that he forgave Sebastian for hitting him but also that he wasn't going to see him.

"Are you sure?"

"Baby, are you kidding me? I told you so many times I don't want to see him. I want to prove you that I'm still the person you love and that you can trust me."

"Kurt …" Blaine starts, taking a deep breath, "I don't want you to do anything you don't feel like doing. I don't want you to feel forced by me." He says and looks down, embarrassment over his features.

"Blaine, look at me." Kurt says, grabbing his chin so that Blaine looks into his eyes. "I love you and I can do, say and be everything you need me to, to prove you that. Now, since you don't trust me completely and you have all the right to do so, sitting at a table with Sebastian wouldn't be the best thing I could do to make you feel good," Kurt smiles and then adds, "We need Sebastian out of our lives."

Blaine nods at the words. Kurt's right, he would have known that they're together; plus, whatever Kurt would tell him about their meeting, there would always be a part of Blaine who would doubt that was the truth. He hoped things were going back to the way they were before as soon as possible, but it can't actually be that easy, right?

He loves Kurt more than his own life, and he's sure about it because if he didn't, he wouldn't try to rebuild what they had. He would just break up with him; but yet, a life without Kurt doesn't seem okay to him and his teenage dream. If he thinks about a future job, Kurt in his fantasy, at the end of the day, is listening to him when he comes back. If he thinks about a house, there's Kurt who chooses all the colours of walls and furniture. If he thinks about having a kid, he always imagines that he/she has a wonderful pair of blue eyes. Kurt is everywhere, in every single fantasy Blaine has about his own future.

But he's still afraid he might do the same mistake and this time, Blaine has no idea how much it would hurt. It would probably hurt even more, much more than it already did.

"I need him out of my life that's for sure. The Warblers' meetings have already become so distressful because of him. I have to spend two hours trying not to kill him." Blaine says, brushing Kurt's cheek, right where he had the bruise on his face from Sebastian's wrath. Kurt's instinctive reaction is leaning his hand on his boyfriend's to deepen to contact even more.

"Blaine, this is just my fault. Don't blame Sebastian, he's a bitch but … I'm the one to blame here."

"Oh c'mon!"

"Blaine … I know you're trying to blame him not to do the same with me, but this is the truth. I'm the bastard."

Blaine turns abruptly. He doesn't want to listen to these things. It isn't Kurt's fault. It's that bastard's. Sebastian seduced Kurt, and he _knows_ how good Sebastian can be at seducing. Kurt is just a victim of his dirty games.

"He could have avoided pursuing you …" The thought starts hammering into his head, but he refuses to give it some credit.

"Hey, listen to me," Kurt says, turning Blaine's face again with his hand, "I made a mistake and we're trying to fix it, but I don't want you to think I'm innocent in order to do forgive me. You have to do that knowing that I hurt you and that it was all my fault. I could have said no, Blaine, and I didn't."

Kurt feels sick when he notices a tear streaming down Blaine's face and tracing his now said features. Nothing has gone. Blaine is just pretending that Kurt is a victim, that's why he's forgiven him. The idea of Kurt being an innocent victim of the evil witch is helping Blaine accepting what happened, but Kurt doesn't want this. Even if it might cost him a life without Blaine, he doesn't want it to be like this. Kurt made a mistake and Blaine has to realize it and forgive him with the awareness that Kurt slept with someone else, that he _wanted_ to do so, and that there had been times when Kurt barely remembered Blaine's existence.

Of course, Blaine should also know about the times he cried for guilt, all the times he _had tried_ to say no to Sebastian, but that's not the only thing that happened; there were also times when he almost loved Sebastian desperately, the things he felt for him, the times he had thought about breaking up with Blaine and give himself completely to his lover.

Blaine must know and consider everything, so that his forgiveness isn't just a compromise, just forgetting; Kurt doesn't want that to happen. Maybe that's why they haven't managed to make love again yet, that's why Blaine pushes him away every time. Maybe when he sees Kurt half-naked in front of him, he tries to ignore his brain yelling that someone else had him like that; that someone else's hands wandered over his body, someone else's lips on his, and he had felt complete in the most intimate way possible with someone else who wasn't Blaine.

Blaine hasn't forgiven him.

While the awareness of this realization hits him, Kurt doesn't manage to stop the tears. He hoped he would, but he can't.

He moves closer to Blaine and whispers sadly, "I love you. I'll always love you. I will wait for you forever, but if we want this to work, you have to find a way to forgive everything, even the things you pretend you don't see." Kurt ends, pressing a soft kiss on Blaine's wet cheek.

He tries to gather his courage and walks to the door of the dorm room, this room that now smells like them, their fast kisses, the tears from when Kurt had gone back to McKinley, the love Kurt share with him every time he visited.

Unexpectedly, he hears Blaine speaking, "Meet him. I want you to meet him, I want you to talk with Sebastian and once you're done, I want you to come back to me and just tell me the truth. I'll trust your words." When Kurt turns, he sees Blaine staring outside the window, showing him his back.

Kurt doesn't answers at this.

/

From when the famous text had come, it had been a few days and Blaine and Kurt didn't see each other, even if it hurts more than they had expected. They both need some time to think. They miss each other but they can't make more mistakes than they've already done. Kurt didn't find the courage to call Sebastian and tell him that he wants to see him. He can't call him pretending that nothing happened. Even starting a conversation would have been impossible.

And yet, Blaine wants this to happen and if that's the only way Kurt can win his boyfriend back, he can stand talking to Sebastian for a few minutes and let him tell what he wants. Then he'll tell Blaine and it'll be worth it. He can't understand what had gone through Blaine's mind when he asked him to do this.

He had called Mercedes when he got home to ask for advice. Mercedes told him that if it was what Blaine wanted, he had to take a risk, especially if Kurt feels sure about himself and knows nothing more would happen. But that's the actual problem, because the last time Kurt saw Sebastian, even for a few seconds, Sebastian felt like the new Tyson and expressed all of his frustration on Kurt's face. That day, Kurt cried because he hated that Sebastian fucked out around with other guys, even if he had knocked to his door to tell him he chose Blaine over him.

The last time he actually saw him, Blaine and his look kept him, because otherwise, Kurt would have followed Sebastian along the hallways of Dalton Academy to hold him and make that sad and disappointed look wash off of his face. Is it normal that Kurt still loves him?

Maybe it is. You can't really erase a person in a few days, especially if he was important. But now he need to think about Blaine, so he embraces himself and decides to digit Sebastian's number. As he does, he realizes that he knows it by memory, and that makes him ashamed with guilt.

The phone is ringing with no answer.

It does for dozens of time, but no one picks up. Maybe Sebastian doesn't want to talk to him anymore. Maybe he got offended because Kurt didn't accept it at first. Well, Sebastian didn't even text him back.

He cuts the call, feeling resigned. Blaine won't believe him if Kurt told him Sebastian didn't pick up; he would probably think this is just an excuse Kurt made up because he is afraid to meet him and fall back into the trap. Kurt had spent weeks ignoring Sebastian's texts and now that he needs him, Sebastian won't pick up. Of course.

He lets himself fall on the bed.

Still lost in his thoughts, Kurt hears someone knocking on the door to his room a few minutes later. It's his dad.

"May I?" He asks kindly, before he's stepping into the room, knowing how much Kurt hates it when someone walks into his space without asking for permission.

Kurt nods and Burt moves until he's sitting on the bed, next to his son, and starting to talk almost immediately.

"Kurt, I really don't want to mind your own business, but you've been acting weird lately. You're so thoughtful all the time. Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, dad. Don't worry." Kurt answers, trying to show a smile that looks at least believable. But it's his dad, so it's unlikely that he won't notice.

"Are you sure you're okay with Blaine? One day you come back home crying and the next day you smile light you could light up the whole Lima."

"Why do you think it has to do with Blaine?" Kurt asks, stiffening at hearing the name.

"That fact that you just stiffened now isn't a guess, right?"

When had he started being so careful to these details?

"Listen, dad. We've been through a tough time lately. There's nothing wrong."

"Are you sure? Because if he did something wrong, I …"

"No, dad! He didn't. In fact …" He regrets adding the last words immediately.

"In fact?"

"Dad, I have to tell you something …"

And that's when Kurt starts telling him – not in the details of course – about what happened in the last few months and days. He knows his dad loves him, but he's also aware that he might disappoint him now and Kurt doesn't want it. He sees his dad's face changing while he tells: it becomes sad, disappointed, angry. He knows he is going to judge him a little, because that's what a parent does to make you understand you did something wrong, but he hopes that apologies and a dinner are enough for him to be forgiven.

"That's all." Kurt ends up.

"Kurt, why did you do that? Blaine is probably wrecked by now. This is not the boy I grew up, I taught you stuff about people's feelings and about not throwing yourself."

"I didn't do it, dad. Sebastian came at the wrong time. I'm sure that if he happened when Blaine and I were just fine, I wouldn't have fallen into this thing."

"You disappointed me, Kurt. So much." With this lapidary comment, Burt stands up from the bed and gets out of the room, slamming the door.

Kurt stays still on bed, wrecked at the words, so much that he can't even find the strength to run after his dad.

"You disappointed me." The words keep on spinning into his head with no break. He would rather die than seeing that terrible expression over his dad's face while his eyes look at him accusatorily.

**Chapter 8 Part 2 Apologies **

"Kurt, can I come in?" Carole waits outside the door and when she doesn't get a reply, she walks in Kurt's room anyway.

"Why don't you eat something, honey?" She asks moving closer to where her step-son is laid on the bed. He didn't eat anything and, if Carole knows him right, he won't eat anything until tomorrow's dinner either. She leans the plate on the bedside table and she sits on the bed. She puts a hand on the pillow, beside Kurt's head, and she realizes that the material is all wet. Kurt had probably cried until now.

Since he doesn't even move a little, Carole thinks it's about time to talk about this.

"Honey, your dad is going to understand, don't worry. We both know Burt and he barely manages to be angry at you for more than a few hours."

Hearing her talk, Kurt turns to her, like he's now coming out of some sort of trance and he realizes there's someone talking to him.

"Carole, I didn't just make him angry. I disappointed him and that's never happened before." The woman starts stroking his head softly, touched by the sadness and the wetness of Kurt's eyes.

"He just needs some time, Kurt. He built a picture of you in his head for years and what you've told him today has probably crashed it."

"I'm not a baby, Carole."

"You are to him. You'll always be his little boy, even when you'll have babies yourself."

Kurt suddenly explodes into a noisy cry. He can't remember a time when he cried like this; which makes sense since he can't remember a time he felt so hurt and sad.

"He'll come back, don't worry. Go and see him at the shop today, with no excuses, just to say hi."

Kurt spends a few minutes more crying into his step-mother's arms. When he finally stops, she helps him laying down again on the bed and covers him with the covers.

"Good night, Kurt."

The boy doesn't even hear it though since he's already fallen asleep, tired by his cry.

"Burt," Carole calls her husband to make him come down in the living room. When Burt enters the room, she sees her sitting there, with her eyes wet.

"Carole, what happened?"

"Burt, you need to talk to Kurt. He's hurt."

"I'm hurt too."

"No, you're just acting like the bear dad who wants his little boy to be a baby forever. You want him to never make mistakes, to always follow the path you chose for him, to be the man you want him to be. Well, Burt, that's not it and it _won't_ be like that."

"He acted awful, Carole."

"And I think he's already paying for that because he lost everything that he had. He lost Blaine, Burt, he needs you to be there now and not you to judge him."

"I told him stuff. I told him to respect himself and he just gave himself away to some asshole, hurting Blaine and risking to lose everything, even his friends and his family."

"But Kurt is a man now. He's a wonderful man you should be proud of. He made a mistake - a big one, I'll allow that – but it's still a mistake. He lived all his life doing the right thing and now you just can't forgive him for having been selfish just once, even if it made him act in a wrong way? And look, he's such a smart guy that he realized it by himself and decided to confess everything to the only boy he's ever loved. He's been brave as he always has." Carole gets closer to his husband, taking his hand. "He grew up as an amazing man, Burt, thanks to you. You should be proud of him. You have the right to rebuke him as much as you want, but don't be stubborn. Go upstairs and tell him you love him."

"Of course I love him!"

"Well, he was crying in his bedroom thinking you don't just a moment ago, so I don't think he's sure about it. Maybe he needs you to tell him, just that."

Burt stands up slowly from the couch and he leans to his wife to kiss her. The woman smiles in the kiss thinking about how similar Kurt and Burt are, even if they don't realize it; and not only because they have the same eyes, but also because they're both stubborn, strong and brave. Burt grew Kurt as the best man he could hope to become.

/

Without even knocking Burt enters his son's room. The lights are down and he's probably sleeping. He moves closer to the bed, hoping he won't wake him up, and he strokes his forehead. Suddenly, with his eyes still closed, Kurt grabs his dad's hand and puts it on his own chest. His eyes are still shut, maybe he's just dreaming – Burt thinks. The thought gets cut when Kurt murmurs the most important word with his voice messy from sleep.

"Dad …"

Tears start streaming down Burt's face. He doesn't answer because he doesn't want to wake him up. Simple as that, Kurt had recognized the hands of his dad in his sleep and he is holding them. He's probably dreaming now, his dad stroking him tenderly meanwhile.

"I love you, Kurt. You're my little boy and you'll always be." He whispers into his ear, just like Carole told him. It's the only words Kurt needs to hear. Kurt doesn't answer, but he smiles. He isn't sleeping anymore. Burt strokes him once again and then he moves to get out of the room and go back to his wife. As soon as he sees her, standing by the door of their bedroom, waiting for some news, all that Burt can do and feels like doing is kissing her quickly on her lips and whispers a soft _Thank you_ that means so much more than Carole might think or imagine now.

The next morning Kurt dresses up faster than usual. He hadn't managed to text back Sebastian, but he must do it for Blaine. He runs along the stairs and then the kitchen; he walks out to school after he said his goodbye to the family. It's going to be a bad day, he just knows. There's something in the air. The guys have planned a meeting of the glee club before the lessons started. This usually happens when Rachel goes crazy, when they have to teach some new dance moves to Finn – which means the whole team is needed all day long -, when the girls need a check up on their looks. But the text he had received didn't specify that.

Once he enters the room, something incredible is filling it: silence. There's never silence in the choir room.

No one is speaking, no one is moving. His friends stay in silence and it's almost creepy. Kurt can barely recognize them. It doesn't help the fact that it's Monday morning, of course, but it looks someone's dead. Maybe that happened. He starts to check that everybody is there. Yes, they are. Mercedes and Rachel look scared and worried. Puck, Finn, Mike and Sam look ready to put up a fight, like they're forcing their bodies on the chair. Santana looks almost the same, only Brittany is keeping her for going crazy; she is brushing her arm to calm her down, but Kurt can see how tensed she is over her face. Sugar is the only one who looks calm, though the silence must be contagious because she isn't speaking either – which is unbelievable.

"Kurt," someone says and Kurt recognizes Santana's voice sounding lapidary.

"What's wrong, guys?" Kurt is starting to feel a little anxious. What the hell is happening here? It must have something to do with him since he's the only one who doesn't know about this game of silence going on.

"We need to talk to you. We've got a new member." Santana says with a grimace of disgust and anger on her face. Who could create such a fuss? The girls move towards him. Mercedes is the first who gets there and she takes his hand. Rachel does the same with the other hand.

Kurt is in the game now so he stays silent, also because it seems that they're all tied to a thing string and if he breaks it by speaking, it might all explode into chaos.

"We want you to know that you get to decide on this. He got his audition and we can't kick him out; but if you don't want him here, well … he's going to have to go."

"Cedes, what the hell are you talking about?"

Suddenly the new member of the New Directions walks in from the side door.

Kurt feels like he's dying.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Hi everyone! Thanks for your reviews. I'm happy that you like my story! Thanks to EdyFerrone for translating and Kiamilachan for correcting!

/

**Chapter 9 New Directions**

Kurt has never thought that the picture of a human being standing before his eyes could fuck his head like this.

The room gets immediately filled with tension.

Sebastian is leant against the door. He's staring at him with evident amusement and a smirk on his face that Kurt would want to punch off his lips.

Rachel's gentle touch on his hand makes him come back to real life so that he explodes with anger.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Did you learn how to swear, babe? Congrats."

Kurt moves fast forward to hit him when two strong arms hold him. He immediately understands that this is Finn. He tries to fight to get free and put his hands on this annoying jerk who is still laughing in front of him. It doesn't work though, because Sam is helping Finn now and Mercedes is in front of him too, whispering words to calm him down, but Kurt doesn't even listen. He thinks there can't be such anger as the one he feels now. He would kill him now, he's sure of it. What should he do? Kurt slowly calms down, now aware of the fact that the guys wouldn't let him go anyway. The only thing that feels right now is leaving.

He grabs his bag which has fallen to the ground by now and he walks out of the room, leaving everybody speechless.

How could they accept this?

Rachel and Mercedes gave their okays to welcome Sebastian in the New Directions even if they knew everything about them, and the others, even if they didn't know about the love triangle, they surely knew he hates the Warbler for what he did to his boyfriend, for what he did _to him_.

And yet they let him in.

Of course, Kurt could easily forbid him to do so, but he knows that the Glee club needs a new member desperately now that Blaine's gone and he can't be surprised that his friends chose to let him in technically. Sebastian's voice is amazing, he can dance like a dancer and he has that sexy face that could easily help to bump the reviews of the judges in competitions. The easiest conclusion that comes to his mind sounds the most logical one too. He's going to leave the glee club. It's not like they need him, since he's always been a background prop, at Regionals too. He isn't essential because if a letter that claimed him a finalist at NYADA wasn't enough to convince his friends of how good he is, of how much he'd deserve a solo, then they don't really need him.

When he gets to half of the hallway – the school is still desolated – he turns towards the bathroom; maybe he needs some cold water.

He washes his face, wipes it and then he takes a deep breath. This is going to be the hardest decision ever, he knows it; it's not because he left the glee club, but because he won't go back because it's not only about Sebastian: his friends disappointed him. In his head, suddenly, all the wrong things he's been through during these years start rolling, the once he got from his precious friends in glee.

The solo he didn't get even though he's the best, the way they joked about him, Finn who told him not to sing with Sam if he cared about his reputation, the elections, when they voted for Brittany when winning was essential to his future, the fights, and then, finally, Rachel asking Blaine out for a date when she knew Kurt was in love with him.

Everything wouldn't have come back to his mind if Sebastian's presence there didn't break something within him. While thinks about all this, he realizes that it might be helpful to send a text to Blaine to tell him about the situation, even in the case he wouldn't reply.

_Blaine, I've left the glee club. Sebastian has transferred to McKinley._

In a few seconds Blaine unexpectedly answers the text and Kurt can sense a weird feeling of happiness at reading his boyfriend's name on the screen.

_Kurt, don't leave the club because of him. Maybe that's just what he wants._

Kurt knows Blaine is right. Maybe this is just probably some stupid revenge from Sebastian towards Kurt for having rejected him. He probably wants to take everything from him and he knew that if he joined the glee club, Kurt would have left. He didn't think Sebastian could be so mean.

When he's about to text Blaine back, Kurt hears the door of the bathroom open, and when he looks up, he finds himself looking at Sebastian.

"Kurt, can we talk?"

"Just say what you have to and then leave. I can't promise I'll listen." Sebastian smiles weakly at Kurt's bossy attitude.

"Look, I didn't do this for you. You're the favorites at Nationals this year and I want to win. The Warblers lost, so I don't need them anymore."

"So you're not here for me?" Why does this sentence come out so surprised? Kurt can't understand, but he regrets immediately the turn he's given to this conversation when Sebastian answers.

"Don't flatter yourself too much, babe. Even though I'm curious to know what you're going to do now. Will you make them send me away?"

"No, Sebastian …" Kurt says, shifting closer to him. "I'm the one who's leaving. I was disappointed and humiliated once again. My friends care more about winning than about our friendship, so I decided to give them what they want. Do they want to win? They need you, not me."

He shouldn't have added the last sentence. He knows Sebastian is probably going to read it like Kurt wanted to compliment him. Though it's actually just the truth, because Sebastian is surely going to have the solo Kurt never had and he'll lead them to victory, like Kurt could have done if his friends ever trusted him. But still, he doesn't wait for an answer. He just moves towards the door to get freed of Sebastian's presence.

Suddenly though, he feels something tugging at his arm. Sebastian pulls him closer, Kurt can almost smell his scent.

"Kurt, if you don't feel like coming back to glee club, that's okay; but don't blame your friends for wanting to be winners for once."

Kurt pushes Sebastian's arm off of his own and the boy leaves it with no complains. The last gaze Kurt turns to him is pure disdain. How can Sebastian even judge him after all that he's done to him? Kurt's mind is suddenly being filled with exciting projects about the ways he could kill, but he pushes them away too. Going to jail for Sebastian isn't worth it.

Before he can get to the door, he hears Sebastian saying something that sounds like: "You didn't text me again about that text. I really need to talk to you." But Kurt almost doesn't catch the worse, too fucked up with everything that's happening inside him to focus on anything that isn't walking out of the bathroom.

As soon as he gets out he finds Mercedes and Rachel waiting for him. They had probably followed Sebastian.

"Kurt, please …" Mercedes murmurs softly. Rachel looks like she's about to cry. Kurt doesn't answer. He just walks away from them, leaving them down the hallway as they watch him walk away.

/

"Any news about Sebastian?" Thad had practically asked anyone. Nobody knows anything. The only ones who might know are indeed the Warblers.

"I've got a text from Kurt today," Blaine says, "Sebastian transferred to McKinley and entered the New Directions." He stands up from the armchair, gathers his things and walks out of the room.

Sebastian is at Kurt's school. Maybe they're even going to attend the same lessons. The idea of them spending half of their day together, sitting next to each other crashes against him. He's about to grab his phone and just call Kurt when he hears his name alone the hallway. It's Jeff who's been following him since Blaine left the room.

"Hey, Blaine, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Jeff, I just needed some air."

"Are you scared about Kurt?" _How the hell did he figure that out?_ Blaine thinks.

"A little. I'm afraid Sebastian might bother him."

"Kurt is tough, Blaine. If Sebastian crosses the line, he'll kill him. Don't worry about it." Jeff says smiling as he tries to encourage Blaine.

Blaine smiles back and Jeff leans a hand on his shoulder to push him back to the Warblers' room. Yeah, Kurt is going to kick him this time; he has no excuses not to trust him. This is probably the right proof Kurt and Blaine need to understand if they're willing to actually give another try to their relationship, to figure out if Blaine is really sure about forgiving.

Once he steps back into the room, he sees all his friends relieved at his comeback.

"Well, we can move to the second point of the day. The nursing home of Lima asked us if …"

Blaine doesn't really pay attention to the topic, but he understood his friends moved forward. They know about his fears concerning Kurt even if they don't know about the reasons. They're the best friends Blaine could ask for.

/

Lessons go by slowly.

Kurt found out he has to attend math and literature with Sebastian and he just hopes he won't dare sitting beside him. He thinks that after school, that afternoon, there's going to be the first meeting of the glee club that he won't go to. He feels bad, but he can't even look into their eyes, especially his best friends.

Hours go by and Kurt decides he'll go back home. He sees Rachel trying to cut his way before he goes out, but he just ignores her.

When he gets home, he sits on the sofa, sighing deeply and tiredly. He sees his dad moving closer to him and sitting beside him, staring at him carefully. Kurt doesn't say hi, but he doesn't move either.

"Kurt, what happened?"

"Nothing, dad. I'm going upstairs, maybe I'll call Blaine." His dad nods unsure, but he thinks that if he's going to call Blaine, at least everything is fine between them.

Once he gets into his room, Kurt turns on the music, lays on the bed and tries to turn off his mind. He realizes immediately how much he needs to talk to Blaine now. A few weeks ago, Blaine would have surely been the person he'd call in such a situation, because he was not only his boyfriend, but also his best friend.

He gains some strength and digits Blaine's number. Calling him now almost seems wrong, but he needs it.

The phone rings a few times, then Blaine picks up.

"Hey, Kurt. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it is. It's just … I know we've said we'd call just in case of emergency but …"

"That's fine, Kurt, calm down. You told me you left the glee club …"

"I think that was the best thing to do. I could never work with that asshole and if they want to win and think Sebastian is the right man to do it, I allow them to do so; but I really don't want to be in the middle of this whole thing."

"Kurt, I get it, but you're going to go crazy without the glee club. It's your only way to pour it all out."

Kurt sighs at the words, because it's so, so true, but he doesn't care.

"I know, Blaine, but I can't do this. It would only make me nervous now."

"Just do as you feel, baby, but think about it carefully."

"How is it that you called me?" Kurt is shocked. It seems like Blaine hasn't thought about it too much, that the word _baby_ came out of his mouth spontaneously. He can imagine Blaine stiffen at the realization.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to say it, it just came out …"

"Don't worry, that's fine. You didn't call me that in a while."

"I know," Blaine says and he takes a long pause before he adds, "I'm afraid, Kurt."

"Of what?"

"You know, Sebastian is there with you, at school, like, all day …"

"Blaine …" Kurt starts, hoping he can make his honesty sound into his voice, "You don't have to worry about it. It's going to be a challenge for us, so that you can figure out whether you trust me or not."

"I can try." Blaine answers. He really wants to try and trust Kurt completely this time. All of a sudden, he thinks back at the _real_ try: the texting between Kurt and Sebastian. So he asked Kurt if he did face the topic with Sebastian.

"I should have texted him to tell him that I wanted to meet him and talk, but obviously, there was a change of plan with what happened at school."

"So you have no idea what he wanted to tell you?"

"No, Blaine, he didn't tell me anything about it. I think he just wanted to give me his excuses for punching me in the face." Kurt is actually sure about it because they really don't have too many things to deal with. There's no other reason to meet each other.

"Fine, but when you'll calm down, you should try and talk to him, even if it's just to find out what he wanted." Kurt agrees completely with that.

They talk for some minutes more about casual things and then Kurt murmurs a few excuses about bothering him to which Blaine answers with a fond "Don't worry about it", and then they disconnect.

_Kurt. I really need to talk to you. I don't want to hit you or anything. I just want to talk. I have so many things to tell you. Just let me know if you're in._

That text. Blaine has now made him think about it, about what Sebastian might want to tell him. The way he acted in the bathroom, the way he had provoked him during lessons, it isn't that reassuring. He's surely going to apologize, but then he would also start joking about how Kurt had gone back to his lovely Blaine like a good housewife would do. He knows Sebastian too well. He really doesn't plan on going out with him so that Sebastian can make fun of him because there would be no Finn stopping him this time. But he's so, so curious. Without really thinking he texts Sebastian:

_Since you wanted to talk to me, see you tomorrow at the Lima Bean. No bullshit. _

_Ok, see you at 3._

_Ok._

He sends another text to Blaine, just to tell him that he did this. Imagining what Sebastian is going to say doesn't make any sense. It'd be better to just let him talk.

_Ok, see you at 3_.

Kurt reads the text again and think about the fact that tomorrow his going to meet his ex-lover for an awkward date for the first time since it all changed. He falls asleep at that thought.


End file.
